Death in the Eyes of Lorelai

This morning I woke up like I would on any typical Thursday morning. I tried to sleep in because it's my day off and, as always, was unable to. So, I got up, threw my flip flops on and took Leira for her morning walk.

Once outside, she did her typical sniff-sniff here, sniff-sniff there until she found the exact spot she wanted to urinate....decided that that spot wasn't quite good enough and then in mid squat meandered on up the sidewalk a little further. About 10 minutes (and a few false alarms) later, we were back inside and she was begging for breakfast.

I fed her and had to fight to distract the rest of the menagerie with bribes of kitty treats so that she could eat her meal in a somewhat peaceful state. All was well. All was normal. I saw Lorelai sitting in her usual patch of sun staring at what I thought was nothing. (Because it usually is...she likes to stare at things that aren't really there. Maybe a ghost?). I went over to pet her and she chirped and squinted her eyes in a happy state like she always does. That's when I saw it.

It. Was. Huge.

It. Was. Gross.

And I think.... is that a baby one beside it?.........

Me:"BOOOOOOOSKI!!!!!!!"

Andrew (in a half awakened state): "Mumble mumble mumble, what?"

Me: "There is a HUGE ass bug downstairs and it's staring at me while Lorelai is staring at it....and I think there is another one beside it and oh God! It's staring at me too and.....can you please come get it?!?!!!!.......NOW!"

I don't really get an answer, I just hear Andrew upstairs putting his pants on...(because why dispose of a nasty bug in your underwear right?) He stumbles downstairs to examine the bug. The three of us stare on.

Me. Andrew. And Lorelai.

Andrew is much braver than I am and is able to get a little closer. The bug is not moving but we think it's still alive.

Me: "What about her baby?"

Andrew: As he takes a closer look...."Um, I don't think that's her baby..."

Me: Freaking out..."Then what the hell is that?"

Then it clicks.

I look at Andrew. He looks back at me. Silently we understand. We both look at Lorelai sitting there all sweet and innocent....... guarding her prey.

She looks at us and I swear she was smiling.

It wasn't a baby bug....

It was the bugs head.

THE. BUG'S. HEAD!!!!!

Yep. My sweet little dilute calico kitty ripped the head off of said bug. Spit it out. And then sat there watching it die.....

I have no words.....