Thirty, Flirty and Thriving

In two months time, I will begin a brand new decade of my life. I will say goodbye to my twenties and hello to the unknown and uncharted territory of my thirties.
I'm not really sure how I feel about this. Most of me screams out "BRING. IT. ON!"
I mean, why not right? It's not as though I'm severely attached to my twenties. The first half was pretty much complete crap anyway, so why not start this new decade of my life with a big bang?
I do, however find myself having more difficulty with my identity. I am comfortable in my own skin and have grown to know and love the person I have become, but when it comes to expressing it, I'm not sure what I am still able to get away with.
I've never been a conformist so fashion and style have never necessarily been an issue for me. But I do find myself more and more often standing in front of clothes racks, holding something up and internally asking myself "am I still able to get away with this?" I still wear t-shirts with 80's movies logos on them (shirts, I might add, that kids who weren't even born in the 80's are wearing....Now they're "retro". I'm sorry. When exactly did that happen?) I still have to shop in the juniors section of department stores because I'm so small and any time I do try to venture into the "adult" section, I start to twitch. Let me just say, I've never been the cardigan and capri wearing girl so many of us are. Not that there is anything wrong with that. It's just not me. I have my own sense of style but I feel like I need to create a new look for the next 10 years of my life.
It's challenging and I'm not sure why it has become such a big deal. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that I just recently bought my first couple of pairs of brand new blue jeans since I graduated from high school....thrift stores are so underrated and yes, that includes goodwill if you were wondering. And don't even get me started on the adventure I had, trying to figure out what bra size and style I am.
I try not to think about it.
I think one of my main issues is the fact that i don't tend to live my life out in order. For example, I didn't have my first drink until I was 23...no wait, maybe 26? My college years were mostly spent crammed into a small bedroom studying. And my social life has only just recently started to become a little more exciting. Maybe I'm just a late bloomer?
I remember when I was in fifth grade and my best friend at the time had just started wearing make-up and dressing more sophisticated. (Well, as "sophisticated" as any fifth grader can dress in the late eighties/early nineties. Let me also add that this was the same girl who dressed in one of my Mom's old dresses and high heels and danced with a toothbrush in front of my entire family....Enough said.) I was still in holey blue jeans and multi-colored hair ties. I remember how hurt I was when she told me I was too immature. I mean Hello! I was 10! Who isn't immature at that age?!  Needless to say, once we hit middle school, we didn't remain super close.
I didn't recognize boys as anything other than stupid until about eighth grade. But I was too shy to really admit it. When I finally did reveal to my best friend (different girl) that I did indeed "like-like" somebody...she told pretty much the entire class. And that was pretty much the end of that friendship.
By ninth grade, i was ready for my first true-life boyfriend, whereas several girls in my class (and some that were even younger) were already pregnant. I waited to lose my virginity until the year I turned 22...and that was an accident.
So anyway, I'm not sure if I should approach this new time in my life differently than what I've done in the past or if I should just keep trucking along as though it were any other birthday. Everyone keeps cracking jokes about the big 3-0. So what right? It's just another number, another year. I've always said, you're only as old as you think you are. I'm just not really sure how old I am mentally....
I'm watching friends, old and new, grow up so fast. In fact, I guess that's what I've always done. Everyone has always seemed to be in such a hurry to get to this age, to grow up, to be "thirty, flirty and thriving" and yet now it seems all anyone really wants to do is slow it down. Just a little.
I'm happy that I've gone about it a bit differently. And I'm happy where I am in life right now. I'm married to the most wonderful man in the world and most importantly, he gets me. He loves me for who I am and doesn't try to change me like so many people in my past have. My family is the best any girl could ask for and I feel very fortunate at how close we are. As far as work, well, I'll put it this way, it challenges me to strive for something more in the future.
So I'll say it again 30....
Bring. It. On.
I have a whole new set of goals and dreams to reach over the course of my next 10 years and I am determined to accomplish every single on of them.
Even if it's a little out of step from everyone else.