Dear Lorelai, Tuna, Phoebe, Dip and Bianca,
I have finally come to the conclusion that if I were ever to happen to pass away in my sleep, you would still find a need to sit on my head, bite on my ears and scratch at my face during the wee hours of the morning.
The coroner would see these scratches and bite marks and suspect foul play, only to discover that these injuries were made after I had indeed died.
It is not that I do not think you care for me as your mother. It is just my feeling that you care more about food when it is breakfast or dinner time. I do not take offense to this.
However in retrospect, I would like you to all to consider why there are times when, instead of getting fed immediately, you get tricked and sent out of the bedroom without getting fed first. This is not because I do not love you. It's because at the time my priorities = sleep first, feed cats later.
Also, I want to make the comment that you have officially brainwashed dear, sweet Andrew into believing that he is your slave. I know this because he actually made that very comment to me the other morning when I was half asleep and wondering why my head felt so heavy (Thank you Lorelai for that).
Let me just say that neither Andrew nor I are your slaves. I know this might be hard to accept. But life is hard.
Get over it.
Should any of these thoughts need to be discussed further, we would be more than happy to listen to your questions/comments/complaints. But in the mean time, please keep this thought in mind each morning before you start screaming, clawing, climbing and sitting on people's heads....
Stop it.
Yours Truly,
Mary and Andrew
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