Punch bug, slow bug...it's all the same when your'e being hit by your mother.

My brother and I taught our parents the rules of the game "punch buggy [insert color here] back when I was in middle school....17 years ago.

Should you ever travel in the car with my parents in this day and age, you will be forced to hear from the backseat random bits of conversation interrupted by "Blue!" or "Green" and a swift punch into the opposite person's shoulder. And as if nothing happened at all, the conversation will resume.

For example, Andrew and I went to visit my parents a couple of weekends ago and this is the conversation we were forced to listen in on.

Mom: "I'm so excited about Jackson Brown, but I haven't brought myself..."Red!" (then punches my Dad mercilessly as hard as she can) to listen to him too much because i don't want to get too excited before the concert."

Dad: "Which Carrabba's are we going to?" (There are only two in Asheville and we always go to the same one so I'm not sure why he asks this question every time we go...it will always remain a mystery to me.)

Mom turns around to look at us in the backseat and is side-swiped by Dad's ruthless punch into her right arm "Silver" he yells.

Mom: without a bit of distraction, "where do you guys want to go?"

Andrew and I just stare completely baffled at the violence that sits before us.

On a slightly different note, I can't tell you how many times I have been driving my Mom somewhere when out of nowhere she hits me and almost startles me to the point I run off the road. I stare at her in the passenger seat looking so sweet and innocent, constantly reminding her that I am not Dad and that she almost gave me a heart attack.

Mom: "Oh I'm so sorry." (But it never stops her...nope. She still does it. She claims it's because she's so used to riding in the car with Dad. But I honestly think it's her way of getting back at me for giving her such a hard time when I was a teenager.)

It should really be a form of child abuse. I can see it in the headlines now, "Punch Buggy Lavender. It's Not To Late To Seek Help Now."

It could be the next episode on "The Closer."

An episode that I could completely identify with.