I was thinking about my week on my way home from work last night. My job has not been going well for the past month or so and each little thing just keeps building up more and more, making me feel like I'm about to explode.
Yesterday was bad because everyone around me seemed to be feeling the exact same way, so the lack of positive energy was making it worse. I felt like I couldn't breathe...you know, trapped and you can't get out. Being a vet tech is what I've been focusing on for the past 6 years. I'm leaning closer and closer to the idea of "I don't want to do this with the rest of my life."
I'm tired of not being recognized for the things I do accomplish . The only recognition is when I screw something up (which just seems to be a lot lately.) I'm a hard and dedicated worker and that's not me being conceited...it's just the truth. I know I have the personality that I don't gossip or complain or talk about people behind their backs...therefore everyone comes to me and I have to hear about it anyway (there's only one person there who I don't mind when she talks to me about things going on...and you know who you are:). But everyone else? I DON"T CARE!!!!! Keep it to yourself! Leave the drama at home, you're only making it worse for everyone, including yourselves so SHUT-UP already!
All this being said, I was wallowing about everything all at once when I thought about something. Apparently, there were 2 pretty major wrecks that happened yesterday afternoon on the road that I work on. One was a head on collision and the other one involved 2 pedestrians (14 year old girls) that got hit by a van...we know that one of the girls didn't make it. And here I was, pitying myself and my minuscule issues when someone else had just lost a daughter....somehow it doesn't come close to measuring up with my worries. It made me realize that no matter how hard a day I claim to have...someone else had it worse.
I'm a very lucky human being. I have the best family anyone could ask for. My parents have stood by me through thick and thin...even when they thought I was crazy. But I always had the feeling that they knew I would be OK. My brother is not only my brother, but one of my best friends and though we've had our issues in the past, I've always known he is there for me no matter what. My sister-in law is the sister I never had and I am so grateful to have her in my life. The man I'm about to marry (7 weeks from today!:) is my soul mate, best friend, shoulder to cry on, you name it...that's what he is. He's that "something missing" over all of those years of failed relationships. He's "it" whatever that means and I've never been happier. And not only am I marrying the most loving, wonderful, funny, handsome, sweetest guy in the whole wide world, I'm inheriting a wonderful family as well.....
So really. What do I have to complain about?
I'm still young. I still have goals and dreams. And my plan is to accomplish or at least try to accomplish all of them. I think the feeling I've been feeling for so long is that I have given up in the whole career department....and that is not what I do. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I'm not a quitter. So I'm not going to quit. I'm going to keep my head up high and focus on the good things in my life...because even if there isn't positive energy flowing around me where I spend the majority of my time (work), I know I'm going to come home to it and be around it where it matters the most. And knowing that is what has gotten me this far.
So bring it on life!
I'm ready for the next challenge you have in store for me.
You haven't lost me quite yet.
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