Invisible....
Do you ever go out in public and feel invisible to everyone outside enjoying life around you? I often have moments like in the first Princess Diaries movie when people kept sitting on her because they didn't see her there...And sometimes, I even find myself staring at someone I see on the street and having the empty thought that they can't see me because I'm not truly there.
It's like I'm living outside of myself and I can't quite conjure up the thought that someone else might take the time out of their busy life to notice me. I often feel left out in social situations and I wonder if it's just me being paranoid or if there is really something to this. I mean, I chose to be the way I am to an extent, but i don't think any of us truly choose to be an outsider on purpose.
I hear bits and pieces of peoples' conversations that involve underlying racism, politics and going to the next Kenny Chesney concert. (I don't even know who Kenny Chesney is!?!!) I'm not judging. I'm only pointing out that I have nothing in common with these people. My handful of friends is exactly that...only a handful and we don't always agree on everything (who does?) but we at least respect each others opinions and views on life.
I was heart broken the other day when I heard someone say that "Protesters against the war don't care about the danger soldiers embrace. All they care about is starting another uproar and doing drugs and being lazy...." Or something to that affect. I couldn't believe this point of view, though I really did try to see that side of the picture. The truth is I have friends who are soldiers and those who are against war. I am in fact, one of those protesters...and yet, i have never done drugs and I'm NOT lazy...at least I don't think I am. What a sad point of view to have when one can't even comprehend a solution that succeeds death and violence....
Sometimes I feel so alone and I can't even begin to fathom what it feels like to be "normal". But maybe it is normal to feel this way on occasion? But I guess just once, it would be nice to feel like I fit in somewhere outside of my own home...it would be nice not to always feel so....
invisible...
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Top 10 things that cheer me up on a rainy day:
10) Well, in all honesty, I like the rain, especially when it's late at night and I can hear it tap tap tapping on the window panes. It relaxes me and makes me feel safe inside our cute little townhouse, snuggled up under the covers with Leira curled up right between Andrew and I. This is what life is all about.
9) Staying in and eating junk food, watching old movies and laughing until I cry (or vis-versa depending on the flick). There are just some movies that I can watch over and over again and never get enough.
Some that immediately come to mind: Breakfast At Tiffanys, While You Were Sleeping, 13 Going on 30, Harry Potter.....and so on and so on
8) Taking a nap. Let's be honest, any day that I actually get a chance to do this is a good day:). I totally took this for granted when I was little. I wanted to spend every moment I could wide awake in the hopes that i would never miss anything. But these days, a nap picks me up just like that and I'm ready to conquer the world once again. Without such naps...i can still conquer the world...only a bit more sluggishly.
7) Having the extra time to "stalk" people on Myspace and Facebook. Don't judge! We all do it and you know it!!! What better way to keep up with ex's and old "friends" from high school than to check out their recent updates and statuses and pictures without having to actually TALK to them?!?! GENIUS! And my happiness increases in points each time I come across an old classmate who is now fat....that's right. I am woman hear me roar! Grr...
6) Rearranging furniture. I go through spring cleaning more than the average person. I like to have little changes around me such as moving the couch an inch to the left or moving bookcases from one corner to another. It makes me feel refreshed. And it also helps me to feel like my life is not at a stand still. I think in some cultures, this is called Feng Shui.....in my culture, I like to call it "Mary's bored and needs something to do so she's going to move things around until she gets tired or distracted by the task of doing something else."
5) Baking cookies. I love the smell of fresh baked cookies!!! Especially on a rainy day. It's like the extra rain smell adds to the flavor or something. I can't quite describe it. Just trust me on this: Chocolate+rain= yummy yummy goodness.
4) Watching the rain from our bay window in the front of the house with a kitty on my lap (or 2 or 3 and so on and so on:). This is pure bliss. Nothing can quite take the place of this....hee that rhymed!
3) Playing with the dog. Andrew and I have this game we play with Leira where we'll chase her up and down the stairs and all around the house. We'll go in separate directions in order to confuse her (which really doesn't take much) and sometimes we'll hide behind a closed door to see if she notices. This is a very fun and cheap form of entertainment. Ah. The classic moments that make up our lives.
2) Staying in my pajamas all day. Do I really need to say more than this?
1) Reading a good book or 2 (most likely of the memoir or vampire/witch/werewolf persuasion as of late...depending on the mood). Quiet time+a fantastic read= happiness and pure content.
9) Staying in and eating junk food, watching old movies and laughing until I cry (or vis-versa depending on the flick). There are just some movies that I can watch over and over again and never get enough.
Some that immediately come to mind: Breakfast At Tiffanys, While You Were Sleeping, 13 Going on 30, Harry Potter.....and so on and so on
8) Taking a nap. Let's be honest, any day that I actually get a chance to do this is a good day:). I totally took this for granted when I was little. I wanted to spend every moment I could wide awake in the hopes that i would never miss anything. But these days, a nap picks me up just like that and I'm ready to conquer the world once again. Without such naps...i can still conquer the world...only a bit more sluggishly.
7) Having the extra time to "stalk" people on Myspace and Facebook. Don't judge! We all do it and you know it!!! What better way to keep up with ex's and old "friends" from high school than to check out their recent updates and statuses and pictures without having to actually TALK to them?!?! GENIUS! And my happiness increases in points each time I come across an old classmate who is now fat....that's right. I am woman hear me roar! Grr...
6) Rearranging furniture. I go through spring cleaning more than the average person. I like to have little changes around me such as moving the couch an inch to the left or moving bookcases from one corner to another. It makes me feel refreshed. And it also helps me to feel like my life is not at a stand still. I think in some cultures, this is called Feng Shui.....in my culture, I like to call it "Mary's bored and needs something to do so she's going to move things around until she gets tired or distracted by the task of doing something else."
5) Baking cookies. I love the smell of fresh baked cookies!!! Especially on a rainy day. It's like the extra rain smell adds to the flavor or something. I can't quite describe it. Just trust me on this: Chocolate+rain= yummy yummy goodness.
4) Watching the rain from our bay window in the front of the house with a kitty on my lap (or 2 or 3 and so on and so on:). This is pure bliss. Nothing can quite take the place of this....hee that rhymed!
3) Playing with the dog. Andrew and I have this game we play with Leira where we'll chase her up and down the stairs and all around the house. We'll go in separate directions in order to confuse her (which really doesn't take much) and sometimes we'll hide behind a closed door to see if she notices. This is a very fun and cheap form of entertainment. Ah. The classic moments that make up our lives.
2) Staying in my pajamas all day. Do I really need to say more than this?
1) Reading a good book or 2 (most likely of the memoir or vampire/witch/werewolf persuasion as of late...depending on the mood). Quiet time+a fantastic read= happiness and pure content.
Friday, August 7, 2009
Letter to our cats.
Dear Lorelai, Tuna, Phoebe, Dip and Bianca,
I have finally come to the conclusion that if I were ever to happen to pass away in my sleep, you would still find a need to sit on my head, bite on my ears and scratch at my face during the wee hours of the morning.
The coroner would see these scratches and bite marks and suspect foul play, only to discover that these injuries were made after I had indeed died.
It is not that I do not think you care for me as your mother. It is just my feeling that you care more about food when it is breakfast or dinner time. I do not take offense to this.
However in retrospect, I would like you to all to consider why there are times when, instead of getting fed immediately, you get tricked and sent out of the bedroom without getting fed first. This is not because I do not love you. It's because at the time my priorities = sleep first, feed cats later.
Also, I want to make the comment that you have officially brainwashed dear, sweet Andrew into believing that he is your slave. I know this because he actually made that very comment to me the other morning when I was half asleep and wondering why my head felt so heavy (Thank you Lorelai for that).
Let me just say that neither Andrew nor I are your slaves. I know this might be hard to accept. But life is hard.
Get over it.
Should any of these thoughts need to be discussed further, we would be more than happy to listen to your questions/comments/complaints. But in the mean time, please keep this thought in mind each morning before you start screaming, clawing, climbing and sitting on people's heads....
Stop it.
Yours Truly,
Mary and Andrew
I have finally come to the conclusion that if I were ever to happen to pass away in my sleep, you would still find a need to sit on my head, bite on my ears and scratch at my face during the wee hours of the morning.
The coroner would see these scratches and bite marks and suspect foul play, only to discover that these injuries were made after I had indeed died.
It is not that I do not think you care for me as your mother. It is just my feeling that you care more about food when it is breakfast or dinner time. I do not take offense to this.
However in retrospect, I would like you to all to consider why there are times when, instead of getting fed immediately, you get tricked and sent out of the bedroom without getting fed first. This is not because I do not love you. It's because at the time my priorities = sleep first, feed cats later.
Also, I want to make the comment that you have officially brainwashed dear, sweet Andrew into believing that he is your slave. I know this because he actually made that very comment to me the other morning when I was half asleep and wondering why my head felt so heavy (Thank you Lorelai for that).
Let me just say that neither Andrew nor I are your slaves. I know this might be hard to accept. But life is hard.
Get over it.
Should any of these thoughts need to be discussed further, we would be more than happy to listen to your questions/comments/complaints. But in the mean time, please keep this thought in mind each morning before you start screaming, clawing, climbing and sitting on people's heads....
Stop it.
Yours Truly,
Mary and Andrew
Addition...
So I have another addition to add to my top 10 blonde moments! (That would make 11 right?)
The other night several weeks ago, Andrew and I were standing in the hall talking about going to see Joan Jett (Let me just say, we did and it. was. awesome!) But anyway, we were standing there talking about it and Andrew mentioned that the concert was going to be in Downtown Raleigh on Saturday during "Downtown After 5" (This is a typical summer thing in Raleigh where they hold live music downtown and such.) I then proceeded to ask Andrew (and was completely serious at the time...)
"What time does downtown after 5 start?.......
Ahem.
I never said I was a genius.
The other night several weeks ago, Andrew and I were standing in the hall talking about going to see Joan Jett (Let me just say, we did and it. was. awesome!) But anyway, we were standing there talking about it and Andrew mentioned that the concert was going to be in Downtown Raleigh on Saturday during "Downtown After 5" (This is a typical summer thing in Raleigh where they hold live music downtown and such.) I then proceeded to ask Andrew (and was completely serious at the time...)
"What time does downtown after 5 start?.......
Ahem.
I never said I was a genius.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Heroes
We all have a hero or two right? For whatever reason, we often put certain people up on a pedastool because he or she inspires us in some way or another.
I was introduced to one of my heroes several years ago during my Women In Literature class. It was custom for our teacher to start off each class with one of her favorite songs to try to get us into the mood.
When she played "When I Was A Boy" by Dar Williams, I remember sitting there, listening to the lyrics, anxious to know who this musician was and how on earth I had never heard of her before. I was so excited! I mean, I have always been a huge fan of music and I love love love to "discover" new artists, especially those that aren't "famous" in the pop-culture sort of way. This woman's lyrics were so endearing. And it was like she was inside my head.
My teacher then played another song by Dar called "The Babysitter's Here" and I was hooked! It was that same sort of feeling one gets when he or she finds a four leave clover out in the backyard. I couldn't wait to find and buy and listen to everything this person had ever written.
It's not everyday that you find an artist who is so diverse in the subjects she writes about; from childhood to being a woman to rivers to science experiments, politics, the environment...all of the subjects I personally hold so dear.
From that day forth, she has been an inspiration in my life.
A few years ago, I was able to go see her in concert at the Orangepeel in Asheville. I. Was. So. Excited!!!! The guy I was dating at the time (he who shall not be named...little inside joke there), and I arrived extra early so that we could get a good seat. I was jumping up and down from anticipation and acting like a complete freak/stalker and he was complaining about the girls standing in front of us.
"They better sit down when Dar comes out!'
In my head I was thinking....Who does he think he is calling Dar Williams by her first name? I mean really! She's DAR WILLIAMS!
I ignored him...come to think of it, I did that a lot...hmmmmm...hindsight's 20 20.
But anyway. The crowd goes silent and she arrives on stage. I am taking in the moment when suddenly I hear "he who shall not be named" screaming at the girls in front of us because they haven't sat down yet...
I.Could Have Died.
And there was Dar Williams, a bit distracted and she heard him and asked him what was wrong.
"Don't you think it's rude Dar when you arrive early to a show and people come and stand in front of you blocking your view?"
There he was calling her by her first name again. Thoughts of murder were running through my mind....this was my idol. And he was ruining it!
But because she's Dar Williams, she simply exclaimed "It's only rude if the people who showed up early are upset by the ones who showed up later and stood in front of them..."
The girls immediately sat down and the show began.
It. Was Perfect.
There she was, singing all of the songs I knew and it was over much to soon. We were yelling and clapping and screaming "Encore! Encore!!!"
And she finally came back out.
Within the first note, I knew what song it was and I started jumping up and down. She was playing "The Babysitter's Here".
Oh. My. God! Incredible!!!
I looked over at "he who shall not be named" and....
The bastard was crying...
CRYING!!!!!
Seriously!
How selfish can one be to put me in the position of having to "take care" of him once again during a true historic moment in my life.
Did I mention he was a bastard?
But the concert came and went and it would be a few years until I had another chance to see my inspiration play once more.
That time came only a few weeks ago when my mom sent me (because she's awesome like that:) an email informing me that Dar Williams would be playing a show during Bele Chere this year...for free!!!! And outdoors!
Finding this out was like being told I would be able to go back in time and experience Woodstock '69.
Only better.
So Andrew and I immediately decided that we could not miss this show. I had to be there!
She was playing on a Friday night and I had to be at work early on Saturday but I knew it would be worth it. I mean. We're talking Dar Williams!!!!
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!
We drove to Asheville Thursday night and spent Friday morning and afternoon with my parents. Then we headed out to Downtown Asheville where the event was to take place. We walked around some. (I've always loved Bele Chere and I hadn't been in a few years and Andrew had never been so he was excited as well). We stopped by the booth I used to always work at during my more pronounced "hippy" days and I saw a friend of mine I used to work with. Then we headed to the stage.
A whole hour early.
What? I wanted to get a good spot.
We plastered ourselves directly in front of the stage and waited.
And waited......
And waited...................
I was starting to get a little antsy when I looked up and saw her.
There she was. On stage. Doing her own sound check (how cool is that?). And she was eating.
"Oh my God!!! Look Andrew she's eating! I got a picture of her eating!"
Did I mention I'm just a bit spastic?
Andrew just laughed and smiled at me because he's wonderful and he would have been the same way should it have been Jim James from My Morning Jacket eating right before his eyes.
I will just mention here, this normal everyday activity may not seem so exciting to a normal person.
I'm not normal.
And seeing Dar Williams chew her food right there in front of me was magical.
Simply magical.
Then the concert began...and let me just say.
Best. Concert. EVER!!!
She played every single one of my favorite songs, old and new and she was so great with the audience. She even took several requests. The kicker of it all was that she played "The Babysitter's Here" and when I looked over at Andrew....
HE WASN"T CRYING!
Because he.....IS NOT....a bastard:).
Other than this, my favorite part was when she strummed the first note of "When I Was A Boy" and I was taken back to being in that classroom once again, hearing her music and lyrics for the very first time. This woman was the whole reason I ever picked up a guitar in the first place.
And alas. Again. It was over much too soon.
I was grinning from ear to ear and bouncing up and down and I noticed a few people walking back stage. I looked at Andrew and we followed suit.
I wasn't sure what I was expecting but suddenly Dar Williams was standing right in front of our small group and asking us casually if we could walk around to the other side.
I was a zombie. I just followed and it was like watching everything around me in slow motion. The gate opened slowly and the security guard stepped out and said "Just don't crowd her." And this is when it hit me...
I was about to meet Dar Williams. My hero. My idol. My favorite-est "star" in the whole wide world.
I say this with complete elegance.....
"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek! Yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!!!!!!!!!"
Ahem.
I stood there shaking, trying to figure out exactly what I was going to say when Andrew, lovely fiance' that he is, stepped out and got her attention,
"Dar. I want you to meet your biggest fan Mary." (It's ok that Andrew called her by her first name because she and I were about to become best friends and start touring together anyway!)
I looked at her. She looked at me and she said "Nice to meet you Mary." And held out her hand.
I shook her hand and said......
"Bllehew hwhkksj dsahdksjaklkl;"......
Yeah....I couldn't tell you what that means either.
However she did seem to understand somehow that I wanted her autograph as I handed her a random piece of paper I had found in my purse in a nice, cave-man like manner.
I do remember spastic-ly asking her if I could have my picture taken with her and she said "Oh! Of course! Who's taking it?"
It took me a second to find Andrew because to be honest in the whole moment, I had forgotten anyone else was there....
But he was standing there waiting for the moment. I smiled my biggest smile and he took the picture.
I looked at Dar (remember...we're best friends now so I can call her that) and said "Thank you." And then....
I think I hugged her....
Yep. I'm pretty sure I did. (Sadly. I don't really remember....?) But yeah. I think I hugged her.
Did I mention how spastic I am?
When Andrew and I walked away (let's be honest...he walked, I skipped and jumped and acted like a 5 year old again screaming "I just met Dar Williams! I just met Dar Williams!".....can you say restraining order?....that poor girl...),But I knew I would never forget that moment.
Thank you Dar Williams for putting up with your fans...both normal and crazy. You truly are the best and we love you!!!!
Andrew and I awaiting the concert to begin.
Dar Williams eating!!!!! So exciting!!!
I love this shot! (Thanks Andrew for being the photographer during this ultra-cool event!)
The moment....
I was introduced to one of my heroes several years ago during my Women In Literature class. It was custom for our teacher to start off each class with one of her favorite songs to try to get us into the mood.
When she played "When I Was A Boy" by Dar Williams, I remember sitting there, listening to the lyrics, anxious to know who this musician was and how on earth I had never heard of her before. I was so excited! I mean, I have always been a huge fan of music and I love love love to "discover" new artists, especially those that aren't "famous" in the pop-culture sort of way. This woman's lyrics were so endearing. And it was like she was inside my head.
My teacher then played another song by Dar called "The Babysitter's Here" and I was hooked! It was that same sort of feeling one gets when he or she finds a four leave clover out in the backyard. I couldn't wait to find and buy and listen to everything this person had ever written.
It's not everyday that you find an artist who is so diverse in the subjects she writes about; from childhood to being a woman to rivers to science experiments, politics, the environment...all of the subjects I personally hold so dear.
From that day forth, she has been an inspiration in my life.
A few years ago, I was able to go see her in concert at the Orangepeel in Asheville. I. Was. So. Excited!!!! The guy I was dating at the time (he who shall not be named...little inside joke there), and I arrived extra early so that we could get a good seat. I was jumping up and down from anticipation and acting like a complete freak/stalker and he was complaining about the girls standing in front of us.
"They better sit down when Dar comes out!'
In my head I was thinking....Who does he think he is calling Dar Williams by her first name? I mean really! She's DAR WILLIAMS!
I ignored him...come to think of it, I did that a lot...hmmmmm...hindsight's 20 20.
But anyway. The crowd goes silent and she arrives on stage. I am taking in the moment when suddenly I hear "he who shall not be named" screaming at the girls in front of us because they haven't sat down yet...
I.Could Have Died.
And there was Dar Williams, a bit distracted and she heard him and asked him what was wrong.
"Don't you think it's rude Dar when you arrive early to a show and people come and stand in front of you blocking your view?"
There he was calling her by her first name again. Thoughts of murder were running through my mind....this was my idol. And he was ruining it!
But because she's Dar Williams, she simply exclaimed "It's only rude if the people who showed up early are upset by the ones who showed up later and stood in front of them..."
The girls immediately sat down and the show began.
It. Was Perfect.
There she was, singing all of the songs I knew and it was over much to soon. We were yelling and clapping and screaming "Encore! Encore!!!"
And she finally came back out.
Within the first note, I knew what song it was and I started jumping up and down. She was playing "The Babysitter's Here".
Oh. My. God! Incredible!!!
I looked over at "he who shall not be named" and....
The bastard was crying...
CRYING!!!!!
Seriously!
How selfish can one be to put me in the position of having to "take care" of him once again during a true historic moment in my life.
Did I mention he was a bastard?
But the concert came and went and it would be a few years until I had another chance to see my inspiration play once more.
That time came only a few weeks ago when my mom sent me (because she's awesome like that:) an email informing me that Dar Williams would be playing a show during Bele Chere this year...for free!!!! And outdoors!
Finding this out was like being told I would be able to go back in time and experience Woodstock '69.
Only better.
So Andrew and I immediately decided that we could not miss this show. I had to be there!
She was playing on a Friday night and I had to be at work early on Saturday but I knew it would be worth it. I mean. We're talking Dar Williams!!!!
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!
We drove to Asheville Thursday night and spent Friday morning and afternoon with my parents. Then we headed out to Downtown Asheville where the event was to take place. We walked around some. (I've always loved Bele Chere and I hadn't been in a few years and Andrew had never been so he was excited as well). We stopped by the booth I used to always work at during my more pronounced "hippy" days and I saw a friend of mine I used to work with. Then we headed to the stage.
A whole hour early.
What? I wanted to get a good spot.
We plastered ourselves directly in front of the stage and waited.
And waited......
And waited...................
I was starting to get a little antsy when I looked up and saw her.
There she was. On stage. Doing her own sound check (how cool is that?). And she was eating.
"Oh my God!!! Look Andrew she's eating! I got a picture of her eating!"
Did I mention I'm just a bit spastic?
Andrew just laughed and smiled at me because he's wonderful and he would have been the same way should it have been Jim James from My Morning Jacket eating right before his eyes.
I will just mention here, this normal everyday activity may not seem so exciting to a normal person.
I'm not normal.
And seeing Dar Williams chew her food right there in front of me was magical.
Simply magical.
Then the concert began...and let me just say.
Best. Concert. EVER!!!
She played every single one of my favorite songs, old and new and she was so great with the audience. She even took several requests. The kicker of it all was that she played "The Babysitter's Here" and when I looked over at Andrew....
HE WASN"T CRYING!
Because he.....IS NOT....a bastard:).
Other than this, my favorite part was when she strummed the first note of "When I Was A Boy" and I was taken back to being in that classroom once again, hearing her music and lyrics for the very first time. This woman was the whole reason I ever picked up a guitar in the first place.
And alas. Again. It was over much too soon.
I was grinning from ear to ear and bouncing up and down and I noticed a few people walking back stage. I looked at Andrew and we followed suit.
I wasn't sure what I was expecting but suddenly Dar Williams was standing right in front of our small group and asking us casually if we could walk around to the other side.
I was a zombie. I just followed and it was like watching everything around me in slow motion. The gate opened slowly and the security guard stepped out and said "Just don't crowd her." And this is when it hit me...
I was about to meet Dar Williams. My hero. My idol. My favorite-est "star" in the whole wide world.
I say this with complete elegance.....
"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek! Yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!!!!!!!!!"
Ahem.
I stood there shaking, trying to figure out exactly what I was going to say when Andrew, lovely fiance' that he is, stepped out and got her attention,
"Dar. I want you to meet your biggest fan Mary." (It's ok that Andrew called her by her first name because she and I were about to become best friends and start touring together anyway!)
I looked at her. She looked at me and she said "Nice to meet you Mary." And held out her hand.
I shook her hand and said......
"Bllehew hwhkksj dsahdksjaklkl;"......
Yeah....I couldn't tell you what that means either.
However she did seem to understand somehow that I wanted her autograph as I handed her a random piece of paper I had found in my purse in a nice, cave-man like manner.
I do remember spastic-ly asking her if I could have my picture taken with her and she said "Oh! Of course! Who's taking it?"
It took me a second to find Andrew because to be honest in the whole moment, I had forgotten anyone else was there....
But he was standing there waiting for the moment. I smiled my biggest smile and he took the picture.
I looked at Dar (remember...we're best friends now so I can call her that) and said "Thank you." And then....
I think I hugged her....
Yep. I'm pretty sure I did. (Sadly. I don't really remember....?) But yeah. I think I hugged her.
Did I mention how spastic I am?
When Andrew and I walked away (let's be honest...he walked, I skipped and jumped and acted like a 5 year old again screaming "I just met Dar Williams! I just met Dar Williams!".....can you say restraining order?....that poor girl...),But I knew I would never forget that moment.
Thank you Dar Williams for putting up with your fans...both normal and crazy. You truly are the best and we love you!!!!
Andrew and I awaiting the concert to begin.
Dar Williams eating!!!!! So exciting!!!
I love this shot! (Thanks Andrew for being the photographer during this ultra-cool event!)
The moment....
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Top 10 things that scare me...
10. Public Restrooms. This includes but is not limited to: Porta-potties and rest areas. I have been inside a porta-potty all of 2 times in my life and since the last time have vowed never to go into one again...It. Was. Disgusting. People are so gross...(And this is coming from a person who has to clean up dog shit at least twice a day). I'll leave it at that.
As for the rest areas...it's not so much the public part of the restroom that scares me. (Though I will admit...the majority of the female gender apparently doesn't know how to wipe the seat after they're done...)It's more the people that hang out there that scare me. I've never been to a rest area and not seen at least one bearded, creepy old man standing outside watching every person that goes in. This is where my "make no eye contact" rule comes in. (Hey. If I don't look directly at them., in my mind that = I'm safe:). The same applies for random people standing on the side of the road with "will work for food signs".... and clowns.
9. This brings me to my next worst fear...CLOWNS! Oh. My. God. Whose ever idea it was to dress some middle-aged man or woman in a clown suit and put crazy make-up on was insane. INSANE! Who finds that entertaining? And it doesn't matter if they are skating around on an ice rink with little kids singing "What a great time for a great taste at McDonald's". (That's a little tribute to the old McDonald's 80's commercials.) But seriously, adding ice skates onto a clown? That only makes it easier and faster for them to catch you!
And let me just say, the clown from Poltergeist that suddenly became possessed and attacked the little boy scared the absolute s*** out of me! I mean seriously, I thought I was going to kill over from having a heart attack at the mere adolescent age of 12. One word: C.R.E.E.P.Y.
8. Accidentally eating meat at a restaurant. You ask why is that? Wouldn't you know what to order since you're a vegetarian and all? One would think it was that simple. But truth be told, I have had a few experiences of which this has happened.
Once I went to one of my then favorite Italian restaurants and ordered spaghetti with marinara sauce. Knowing that sometimes, chefs will marinate their sauce in beef stock, I specifically asked if it was vegetarian. They told me yes. So I'm sitting there eating my meal and suddenly feel my face turn as white as the dress I was wearing. I asked my mom to inspect my spaghetti and have a taste. (If you have ever been to a restaurant with me, you have probably seen me do this more than once:). She tasted it and told me it was meat. I. Could. Have. Died. I got the waitresses attention and informed her that I was a vegetarian and this is what she said to me:
"Oh." Giggle Giggle. "You didn't know?"
I looked at her for a moment and replied calmly,
"I thought I did know because whoever I talked to when I called and asked told me it was vegetarian."
"Oh." Giggle Giggle. "Well sometimes the cooks will lie."
I could have choked her with my meat-laced spaghetti.
Another similar, yet not so dramatic occurrence, is the whole reason why I just eat cheese pizza from fast food places.This is because one time I ordered mushrooms and took a big bite and found that a piece of sausage was in my mouth. I screamed and spit it out...which brings us to #7.
7. Sausage. Or anything coming from a pig. What is it exactly? My family can attest to this fear when once we were at Briggs (Best. Breakfast. Ever.) and somehow my hair landed in the sausage on my dad's plate. Suddenly I was screaming "Ah! I've got sausage hair!!!" And the entire restaurant was looking at me like I was crazy.
6. Charles Manson. And yet, no matter how frightened I am of this man, I am truly fascinated by any book, t.v., special, article, ect. the news has to offer me. I have no explanation for this.
5. The random things that go bump in the night. I hear these noises all of the time and am convinced that it's something of the super natural persuasion. I also hold these beings (?) responsible for the socks that go missing in the laundry. And there is nothing more scary than the idea of a ghost wearing just one of your socks. Think about it people....think about it.
4.Vampires. I. Hate. It. When anything is choking my neck or touching my neck. Perhaps it is because my mom used to always dress me in turtle necks (all colors of the rainbow...gotta love the 80's). But I feel like anything touching my neck, whether it's a necklace or a sweater or whatever, secludes me from oxygen and I suddenly feel like I'm suffocating. Hence the reference to vampires...they choke you with their teeth. And the whole idea of that freaks me out...
3.Drowning. Perhaps this certain fear comes from the fact that my brother and his friends use to always find it funny to dunk me and hold me under the water a little too long...I will say however that they did not think it was oh so funny when I discovered how quick of a reaction I could get when I started kicking frantically and landed in areas I will not say. (Use your imagination.)
2.Cartman from South Park. Creepy ass cartoon cooked that kids' parents and fed them to him....That's just messed up. And that episode marked the end of my South Park phase.
1.My own ability to hurt myself (unwillingly mind you) via falling down the stairs, running into brick walls, getting hit by a parked car, tripping over invisible objects....the list goes on. And I have yet to kill myself by accident. This is truly a miracle.
As for the rest areas...it's not so much the public part of the restroom that scares me. (Though I will admit...the majority of the female gender apparently doesn't know how to wipe the seat after they're done...)It's more the people that hang out there that scare me. I've never been to a rest area and not seen at least one bearded, creepy old man standing outside watching every person that goes in. This is where my "make no eye contact" rule comes in. (Hey. If I don't look directly at them., in my mind that = I'm safe:). The same applies for random people standing on the side of the road with "will work for food signs".... and clowns.
9. This brings me to my next worst fear...CLOWNS! Oh. My. God. Whose ever idea it was to dress some middle-aged man or woman in a clown suit and put crazy make-up on was insane. INSANE! Who finds that entertaining? And it doesn't matter if they are skating around on an ice rink with little kids singing "What a great time for a great taste at McDonald's". (That's a little tribute to the old McDonald's 80's commercials.) But seriously, adding ice skates onto a clown? That only makes it easier and faster for them to catch you!
And let me just say, the clown from Poltergeist that suddenly became possessed and attacked the little boy scared the absolute s*** out of me! I mean seriously, I thought I was going to kill over from having a heart attack at the mere adolescent age of 12. One word: C.R.E.E.P.Y.
8. Accidentally eating meat at a restaurant. You ask why is that? Wouldn't you know what to order since you're a vegetarian and all? One would think it was that simple. But truth be told, I have had a few experiences of which this has happened.
Once I went to one of my then favorite Italian restaurants and ordered spaghetti with marinara sauce. Knowing that sometimes, chefs will marinate their sauce in beef stock, I specifically asked if it was vegetarian. They told me yes. So I'm sitting there eating my meal and suddenly feel my face turn as white as the dress I was wearing. I asked my mom to inspect my spaghetti and have a taste. (If you have ever been to a restaurant with me, you have probably seen me do this more than once:). She tasted it and told me it was meat. I. Could. Have. Died. I got the waitresses attention and informed her that I was a vegetarian and this is what she said to me:
"Oh." Giggle Giggle. "You didn't know?"
I looked at her for a moment and replied calmly,
"I thought I did know because whoever I talked to when I called and asked told me it was vegetarian."
"Oh." Giggle Giggle. "Well sometimes the cooks will lie."
I could have choked her with my meat-laced spaghetti.
Another similar, yet not so dramatic occurrence, is the whole reason why I just eat cheese pizza from fast food places.This is because one time I ordered mushrooms and took a big bite and found that a piece of sausage was in my mouth. I screamed and spit it out...which brings us to #7.
7. Sausage. Or anything coming from a pig. What is it exactly? My family can attest to this fear when once we were at Briggs (Best. Breakfast. Ever.) and somehow my hair landed in the sausage on my dad's plate. Suddenly I was screaming "Ah! I've got sausage hair!!!" And the entire restaurant was looking at me like I was crazy.
6. Charles Manson. And yet, no matter how frightened I am of this man, I am truly fascinated by any book, t.v., special, article, ect. the news has to offer me. I have no explanation for this.
5. The random things that go bump in the night. I hear these noises all of the time and am convinced that it's something of the super natural persuasion. I also hold these beings (?) responsible for the socks that go missing in the laundry. And there is nothing more scary than the idea of a ghost wearing just one of your socks. Think about it people....think about it.
4.Vampires. I. Hate. It. When anything is choking my neck or touching my neck. Perhaps it is because my mom used to always dress me in turtle necks (all colors of the rainbow...gotta love the 80's). But I feel like anything touching my neck, whether it's a necklace or a sweater or whatever, secludes me from oxygen and I suddenly feel like I'm suffocating. Hence the reference to vampires...they choke you with their teeth. And the whole idea of that freaks me out...
3.Drowning. Perhaps this certain fear comes from the fact that my brother and his friends use to always find it funny to dunk me and hold me under the water a little too long...I will say however that they did not think it was oh so funny when I discovered how quick of a reaction I could get when I started kicking frantically and landed in areas I will not say. (Use your imagination.)
2.Cartman from South Park. Creepy ass cartoon cooked that kids' parents and fed them to him....That's just messed up. And that episode marked the end of my South Park phase.
1.My own ability to hurt myself (unwillingly mind you) via falling down the stairs, running into brick walls, getting hit by a parked car, tripping over invisible objects....the list goes on. And I have yet to kill myself by accident. This is truly a miracle.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Here's the thing...
Caution: This might offend....
I woke up this morning thinking about several issues that have always been important to me. For example, I have always had a soft spot for all living things, whether it be people, animals, plants or insects. I don't believe that the killing of any of these beings is right. Yes, I know that through natural selection, animals kill one another for food, territory, etc but they do it as an order to survive...not out of cruelty to one another.
This simple statement holds true for not only the senseless killing of animals, but for killing our own kind as well. This being said, I don't feel that it is right to kill any human under any circumstance, including the use of the death penalty and in the acts of war. This does not in any way meant that I am against our soldiers who risk their lives for this country every day. I have a high respect for these individuals and their selflessness. I can't even begin to imagine what their everyday lives are like.
(Let me also note that I am not trying to offend all of you meat-eaters out there. Just stating how I feel. That's all:).
But there has to be a better way. I'm not saying I have the right answer or any other alternative at all. But no one ever got anywhere by making the same mistake over and over again. (I can attest to that on a personal level).
Now I know that many might convey these thoughts of mine to be complete "hippy garble". But here's the thing. Do any of us truly want another living soul to die?
Believe me. I have gone through that whole "phase" so-to-speak of dressing the part of a hippy, displaying tons of bumper stickers on my car, blasting Ani Difranco from my crackly car radio speakers while she's singing about how "America is not a true democracy". I was outraged when Bush was re-elected and couldn't understand how anyone could perceive him as a true leader. I was angry and trying to fight this inner battle of "why do bad things happen to good people", questioning God and asking the eternal why of everything. I've been there. Done that.
And it got me no where in the end but where I am today.
I still stick by my beliefs and morals as I always have. And I respect anyone who might disagree with me, however I expect the same kind of respect back. In my opinion, there is a very fine line between politics and religion and the personal value that each of these topics hold. It doesn't matter to me if you are republican, democrat or liberal. It makes no difference to me if you are Christian, Jew or Muslim. If you describe your faith as religious or spiritual. In my opinion, and that's exactly all this is; we are all EVERYTHING. We all "come together" as the Beatles once said and make the world what it is through, not only are differences, but our likenesses. Sometimes I think we focus too much on such ""differences...when in all reality, that's not what's important.
What's important is that we are alive and that we should treasure each day to the best of our abilities. We are all here for a reason, whatever that reason may be....even if at times it seems faulty. The purpose is there. Live it out.
And be at peace....
I woke up this morning thinking about several issues that have always been important to me. For example, I have always had a soft spot for all living things, whether it be people, animals, plants or insects. I don't believe that the killing of any of these beings is right. Yes, I know that through natural selection, animals kill one another for food, territory, etc but they do it as an order to survive...not out of cruelty to one another.
“Wild animals never kill for sport. Man is the only one to whom the torture and death of his fellow creatures is amusing in itself.”- James AnthonyFroude
This simple statement holds true for not only the senseless killing of animals, but for killing our own kind as well. This being said, I don't feel that it is right to kill any human under any circumstance, including the use of the death penalty and in the acts of war. This does not in any way meant that I am against our soldiers who risk their lives for this country every day. I have a high respect for these individuals and their selflessness. I can't even begin to imagine what their everyday lives are like.
(Let me also note that I am not trying to offend all of you meat-eaters out there. Just stating how I feel. That's all:).
But there has to be a better way. I'm not saying I have the right answer or any other alternative at all. But no one ever got anywhere by making the same mistake over and over again. (I can attest to that on a personal level).
Now I know that many might convey these thoughts of mine to be complete "hippy garble". But here's the thing. Do any of us truly want another living soul to die?
Believe me. I have gone through that whole "phase" so-to-speak of dressing the part of a hippy, displaying tons of bumper stickers on my car, blasting Ani Difranco from my crackly car radio speakers while she's singing about how "America is not a true democracy". I was outraged when Bush was re-elected and couldn't understand how anyone could perceive him as a true leader. I was angry and trying to fight this inner battle of "why do bad things happen to good people", questioning God and asking the eternal why of everything. I've been there. Done that.
And it got me no where in the end but where I am today.
I still stick by my beliefs and morals as I always have. And I respect anyone who might disagree with me, however I expect the same kind of respect back. In my opinion, there is a very fine line between politics and religion and the personal value that each of these topics hold. It doesn't matter to me if you are republican, democrat or liberal. It makes no difference to me if you are Christian, Jew or Muslim. If you describe your faith as religious or spiritual. In my opinion, and that's exactly all this is; we are all EVERYTHING. We all "come together" as the Beatles once said and make the world what it is through, not only are differences, but our likenesses. Sometimes I think we focus too much on such ""differences...when in all reality, that's not what's important.
What's important is that we are alive and that we should treasure each day to the best of our abilities. We are all here for a reason, whatever that reason may be....even if at times it seems faulty. The purpose is there. Live it out.
And be at peace....
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