If I were a super hero...I would be...?

Invisible....

Do you ever go out in public and feel invisible to everyone outside enjoying life around you? I often have moments like in the first Princess Diaries movie when people kept sitting on her because they didn't see her there...And sometimes, I even find myself staring at someone I see on the street and having the empty thought that they can't see me because I'm not truly there.

It's like I'm living outside of myself and I can't quite conjure up the thought that someone else might take the time out of their busy life to notice me. I often feel left out in social situations and I wonder if it's just me being paranoid or if there is really something to this. I mean, I chose to be the way I am to an extent, but i don't think any of us truly choose to be an outsider on purpose.

I hear bits and pieces of peoples' conversations that involve underlying racism, politics and going to the next Kenny Chesney concert. (I don't even know who Kenny Chesney is!?!!) I'm not judging. I'm only pointing out that I have nothing in common with these people. My handful of friends is exactly that...only a handful and we don't always agree on everything (who does?) but we at least respect each others opinions and views on life.

I was heart broken the other day when I heard someone say that "Protesters against the war don't care about the danger soldiers embrace. All they care about is starting another uproar and doing drugs and being lazy...." Or something to that affect. I couldn't believe this point of view, though I really did try to see that side of the picture. The truth is I have friends who are soldiers and those who are against war. I am in fact, one of those protesters...and yet, i have never done drugs and I'm NOT lazy...at least I don't think I am. What a sad point of view to have when one can't even comprehend a solution that succeeds death and violence....

Sometimes I feel so alone and I can't even begin to fathom what it feels like to be "normal". But maybe it is normal to feel this way on occasion? But I guess just once, it would be nice to feel like I fit in somewhere outside of my own home...it would be nice not to always feel so....

invisible...