This is your last warning:

Dear Lorelai, Tuna, Phoebe, Leira, Dip and Bianca,

I am writing (again) to remind you (again) that Andrew and I are not your slaves. You do not own this little townhouse we live in and what you demand of us is not always going to happen (even though we are suckers and usually give in).

So here is a list of things that we would like for you to work on:

1) Lorelai: I love that you have taken the position of sleeping on my head every night, but if you could please refrain from licking, biting and screaming in my ear once it's time for you to get up...that would be great. (Also...even if it's time for you to get up, this does not mean it is time for me to get up).

2) Tuna: I am so very happy that you have sucked up your pride and have begun to sleep beside me again, but if you could just keep these couple of things in mind, that would be fabulous:
-Stop licking and chewing on the bedspread. Nothing is worse than waking up to that crunchy noise of a cat's tongue on fabric and then sticking your hand in a pile of cat drool.
-Stop trying to tear things down off of the bulletin board. They are there for a reason and I would like them to stay that way.

3) Phoebe: We will not now or ever have cake to give you...so stop asking for it:).

4) Leira: It is so super sweet that you love to sleep right in between us every night. But enough is enough. When we ask you to get off the bed, we mean for you to stay off the bed. (Not to sneak back onto it when we are finally back asleep and unconscious only to wake up with your butt in our faces again.)

5) Dip and Bianca: I just have one question to ask you; You are so quiet for most of the day, where the hell did you pick up the vocal chords to scream/meow/squeak at the top of your lungs when you think it's time to eat? And then you act so sweet and innocent and loving the rest of the time. I ask you, either drop your other personality or seek help and get medication.

Thank you for your time. Much love to you all.
Mary and Andrew