Dear Lorelai, Tuna, Phoebe, Dip and Bianca,
I have finally come to the conclusion that if I were ever to happen to pass away in my sleep, you would still find a need to sit on my head, bite on my ears and scratch at my face during the wee hours of the morning.
The coroner would see these scratches and bite marks and suspect foul play, only to discover that these injuries were made after I had indeed died.
It is not that I do not think you care for me as your mother. It is just my feeling that you care more about food when it is breakfast or dinner time. I do not take offense to this.
However in retrospect, I would like you to all to consider why there are times when, instead of getting fed immediately, you get tricked and sent out of the bedroom without getting fed first. This is not because I do not love you. It's because at the time my priorities = sleep first, feed cats later.
Also, I want to make the comment that you have officially brainwashed dear, sweet Andrew into believing that he is your slave. I know this because he actually made that very comment to me the other morning when I was half asleep and wondering why my head felt so heavy (Thank you Lorelai for that).
Let me just say that neither Andrew nor I are your slaves. I know this might be hard to accept. But life is hard.
Get over it.
Should any of these thoughts need to be discussed further, we would be more than happy to listen to your questions/comments/complaints. But in the mean time, please keep this thought in mind each morning before you start screaming, clawing, climbing and sitting on people's heads....
Stop it.
Yours Truly,
Mary and Andrew
Friday, August 7, 2009
Addition...
So I have another addition to add to my top 10 blonde moments! (That would make 11 right?)
The other night several weeks ago, Andrew and I were standing in the hall talking about going to see Joan Jett (Let me just say, we did and it. was. awesome!) But anyway, we were standing there talking about it and Andrew mentioned that the concert was going to be in Downtown Raleigh on Saturday during "Downtown After 5" (This is a typical summer thing in Raleigh where they hold live music downtown and such.) I then proceeded to ask Andrew (and was completely serious at the time...)
"What time does downtown after 5 start?.......
Ahem.
I never said I was a genius.
The other night several weeks ago, Andrew and I were standing in the hall talking about going to see Joan Jett (Let me just say, we did and it. was. awesome!) But anyway, we were standing there talking about it and Andrew mentioned that the concert was going to be in Downtown Raleigh on Saturday during "Downtown After 5" (This is a typical summer thing in Raleigh where they hold live music downtown and such.) I then proceeded to ask Andrew (and was completely serious at the time...)
"What time does downtown after 5 start?.......
Ahem.
I never said I was a genius.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Heroes
We all have a hero or two right? For whatever reason, we often put certain people up on a pedastool because he or she inspires us in some way or another.
I was introduced to one of my heroes several years ago during my Women In Literature class. It was custom for our teacher to start off each class with one of her favorite songs to try to get us into the mood.
When she played "When I Was A Boy" by Dar Williams, I remember sitting there, listening to the lyrics, anxious to know who this musician was and how on earth I had never heard of her before. I was so excited! I mean, I have always been a huge fan of music and I love love love to "discover" new artists, especially those that aren't "famous" in the pop-culture sort of way. This woman's lyrics were so endearing. And it was like she was inside my head.
My teacher then played another song by Dar called "The Babysitter's Here" and I was hooked! It was that same sort of feeling one gets when he or she finds a four leave clover out in the backyard. I couldn't wait to find and buy and listen to everything this person had ever written.
It's not everyday that you find an artist who is so diverse in the subjects she writes about; from childhood to being a woman to rivers to science experiments, politics, the environment...all of the subjects I personally hold so dear.
From that day forth, she has been an inspiration in my life.
A few years ago, I was able to go see her in concert at the Orangepeel in Asheville. I. Was. So. Excited!!!! The guy I was dating at the time (he who shall not be named...little inside joke there), and I arrived extra early so that we could get a good seat. I was jumping up and down from anticipation and acting like a complete freak/stalker and he was complaining about the girls standing in front of us.
"They better sit down when Dar comes out!'
In my head I was thinking....Who does he think he is calling Dar Williams by her first name? I mean really! She's DAR WILLIAMS!
I ignored him...come to think of it, I did that a lot...hmmmmm...hindsight's 20 20.
But anyway. The crowd goes silent and she arrives on stage. I am taking in the moment when suddenly I hear "he who shall not be named" screaming at the girls in front of us because they haven't sat down yet...
I.Could Have Died.
And there was Dar Williams, a bit distracted and she heard him and asked him what was wrong.
"Don't you think it's rude Dar when you arrive early to a show and people come and stand in front of you blocking your view?"
There he was calling her by her first name again. Thoughts of murder were running through my mind....this was my idol. And he was ruining it!
But because she's Dar Williams, she simply exclaimed "It's only rude if the people who showed up early are upset by the ones who showed up later and stood in front of them..."
The girls immediately sat down and the show began.
It. Was Perfect.
There she was, singing all of the songs I knew and it was over much to soon. We were yelling and clapping and screaming "Encore! Encore!!!"
And she finally came back out.
Within the first note, I knew what song it was and I started jumping up and down. She was playing "The Babysitter's Here".
Oh. My. God! Incredible!!!
I looked over at "he who shall not be named" and....
The bastard was crying...
CRYING!!!!!
Seriously!
How selfish can one be to put me in the position of having to "take care" of him once again during a true historic moment in my life.
Did I mention he was a bastard?
But the concert came and went and it would be a few years until I had another chance to see my inspiration play once more.
That time came only a few weeks ago when my mom sent me (because she's awesome like that:) an email informing me that Dar Williams would be playing a show during Bele Chere this year...for free!!!! And outdoors!
Finding this out was like being told I would be able to go back in time and experience Woodstock '69.
Only better.
So Andrew and I immediately decided that we could not miss this show. I had to be there!
She was playing on a Friday night and I had to be at work early on Saturday but I knew it would be worth it. I mean. We're talking Dar Williams!!!!
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!
We drove to Asheville Thursday night and spent Friday morning and afternoon with my parents. Then we headed out to Downtown Asheville where the event was to take place. We walked around some. (I've always loved Bele Chere and I hadn't been in a few years and Andrew had never been so he was excited as well). We stopped by the booth I used to always work at during my more pronounced "hippy" days and I saw a friend of mine I used to work with. Then we headed to the stage.
A whole hour early.
What? I wanted to get a good spot.
We plastered ourselves directly in front of the stage and waited.
And waited......
And waited...................
I was starting to get a little antsy when I looked up and saw her.
There she was. On stage. Doing her own sound check (how cool is that?). And she was eating.
"Oh my God!!! Look Andrew she's eating! I got a picture of her eating!"
Did I mention I'm just a bit spastic?
Andrew just laughed and smiled at me because he's wonderful and he would have been the same way should it have been Jim James from My Morning Jacket eating right before his eyes.
I will just mention here, this normal everyday activity may not seem so exciting to a normal person.
I'm not normal.
And seeing Dar Williams chew her food right there in front of me was magical.
Simply magical.
Then the concert began...and let me just say.
Best. Concert. EVER!!!
She played every single one of my favorite songs, old and new and she was so great with the audience. She even took several requests. The kicker of it all was that she played "The Babysitter's Here" and when I looked over at Andrew....
HE WASN"T CRYING!
Because he.....IS NOT....a bastard:).
Other than this, my favorite part was when she strummed the first note of "When I Was A Boy" and I was taken back to being in that classroom once again, hearing her music and lyrics for the very first time. This woman was the whole reason I ever picked up a guitar in the first place.
And alas. Again. It was over much too soon.
I was grinning from ear to ear and bouncing up and down and I noticed a few people walking back stage. I looked at Andrew and we followed suit.
I wasn't sure what I was expecting but suddenly Dar Williams was standing right in front of our small group and asking us casually if we could walk around to the other side.
I was a zombie. I just followed and it was like watching everything around me in slow motion. The gate opened slowly and the security guard stepped out and said "Just don't crowd her." And this is when it hit me...
I was about to meet Dar Williams. My hero. My idol. My favorite-est "star" in the whole wide world.
I say this with complete elegance.....
"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek! Yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!!!!!!!!!"
Ahem.
I stood there shaking, trying to figure out exactly what I was going to say when Andrew, lovely fiance' that he is, stepped out and got her attention,
"Dar. I want you to meet your biggest fan Mary." (It's ok that Andrew called her by her first name because she and I were about to become best friends and start touring together anyway!)
I looked at her. She looked at me and she said "Nice to meet you Mary." And held out her hand.
I shook her hand and said......
"Bllehew hwhkksj dsahdksjaklkl;"......
Yeah....I couldn't tell you what that means either.
However she did seem to understand somehow that I wanted her autograph as I handed her a random piece of paper I had found in my purse in a nice, cave-man like manner.
I do remember spastic-ly asking her if I could have my picture taken with her and she said "Oh! Of course! Who's taking it?"
It took me a second to find Andrew because to be honest in the whole moment, I had forgotten anyone else was there....
But he was standing there waiting for the moment. I smiled my biggest smile and he took the picture.
I looked at Dar (remember...we're best friends now so I can call her that) and said "Thank you." And then....
I think I hugged her....
Yep. I'm pretty sure I did. (Sadly. I don't really remember....?) But yeah. I think I hugged her.
Did I mention how spastic I am?
When Andrew and I walked away (let's be honest...he walked, I skipped and jumped and acted like a 5 year old again screaming "I just met Dar Williams! I just met Dar Williams!".....can you say restraining order?....that poor girl...),But I knew I would never forget that moment.
Thank you Dar Williams for putting up with your fans...both normal and crazy. You truly are the best and we love you!!!!
Andrew and I awaiting the concert to begin.
Dar Williams eating!!!!! So exciting!!!
I love this shot! (Thanks Andrew for being the photographer during this ultra-cool event!)
The moment....
I was introduced to one of my heroes several years ago during my Women In Literature class. It was custom for our teacher to start off each class with one of her favorite songs to try to get us into the mood.
When she played "When I Was A Boy" by Dar Williams, I remember sitting there, listening to the lyrics, anxious to know who this musician was and how on earth I had never heard of her before. I was so excited! I mean, I have always been a huge fan of music and I love love love to "discover" new artists, especially those that aren't "famous" in the pop-culture sort of way. This woman's lyrics were so endearing. And it was like she was inside my head.
My teacher then played another song by Dar called "The Babysitter's Here" and I was hooked! It was that same sort of feeling one gets when he or she finds a four leave clover out in the backyard. I couldn't wait to find and buy and listen to everything this person had ever written.
It's not everyday that you find an artist who is so diverse in the subjects she writes about; from childhood to being a woman to rivers to science experiments, politics, the environment...all of the subjects I personally hold so dear.
From that day forth, she has been an inspiration in my life.
A few years ago, I was able to go see her in concert at the Orangepeel in Asheville. I. Was. So. Excited!!!! The guy I was dating at the time (he who shall not be named...little inside joke there), and I arrived extra early so that we could get a good seat. I was jumping up and down from anticipation and acting like a complete freak/stalker and he was complaining about the girls standing in front of us.
"They better sit down when Dar comes out!'
In my head I was thinking....Who does he think he is calling Dar Williams by her first name? I mean really! She's DAR WILLIAMS!
I ignored him...come to think of it, I did that a lot...hmmmmm...hindsight's 20 20.
But anyway. The crowd goes silent and she arrives on stage. I am taking in the moment when suddenly I hear "he who shall not be named" screaming at the girls in front of us because they haven't sat down yet...
I.Could Have Died.
And there was Dar Williams, a bit distracted and she heard him and asked him what was wrong.
"Don't you think it's rude Dar when you arrive early to a show and people come and stand in front of you blocking your view?"
There he was calling her by her first name again. Thoughts of murder were running through my mind....this was my idol. And he was ruining it!
But because she's Dar Williams, she simply exclaimed "It's only rude if the people who showed up early are upset by the ones who showed up later and stood in front of them..."
The girls immediately sat down and the show began.
It. Was Perfect.
There she was, singing all of the songs I knew and it was over much to soon. We were yelling and clapping and screaming "Encore! Encore!!!"
And she finally came back out.
Within the first note, I knew what song it was and I started jumping up and down. She was playing "The Babysitter's Here".
Oh. My. God! Incredible!!!
I looked over at "he who shall not be named" and....
The bastard was crying...
CRYING!!!!!
Seriously!
How selfish can one be to put me in the position of having to "take care" of him once again during a true historic moment in my life.
Did I mention he was a bastard?
But the concert came and went and it would be a few years until I had another chance to see my inspiration play once more.
That time came only a few weeks ago when my mom sent me (because she's awesome like that:) an email informing me that Dar Williams would be playing a show during Bele Chere this year...for free!!!! And outdoors!
Finding this out was like being told I would be able to go back in time and experience Woodstock '69.
Only better.
So Andrew and I immediately decided that we could not miss this show. I had to be there!
She was playing on a Friday night and I had to be at work early on Saturday but I knew it would be worth it. I mean. We're talking Dar Williams!!!!
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!
We drove to Asheville Thursday night and spent Friday morning and afternoon with my parents. Then we headed out to Downtown Asheville where the event was to take place. We walked around some. (I've always loved Bele Chere and I hadn't been in a few years and Andrew had never been so he was excited as well). We stopped by the booth I used to always work at during my more pronounced "hippy" days and I saw a friend of mine I used to work with. Then we headed to the stage.
A whole hour early.
What? I wanted to get a good spot.
We plastered ourselves directly in front of the stage and waited.
And waited......
And waited...................
I was starting to get a little antsy when I looked up and saw her.
There she was. On stage. Doing her own sound check (how cool is that?). And she was eating.
"Oh my God!!! Look Andrew she's eating! I got a picture of her eating!"
Did I mention I'm just a bit spastic?
Andrew just laughed and smiled at me because he's wonderful and he would have been the same way should it have been Jim James from My Morning Jacket eating right before his eyes.
I will just mention here, this normal everyday activity may not seem so exciting to a normal person.
I'm not normal.
And seeing Dar Williams chew her food right there in front of me was magical.
Simply magical.
Then the concert began...and let me just say.
Best. Concert. EVER!!!
She played every single one of my favorite songs, old and new and she was so great with the audience. She even took several requests. The kicker of it all was that she played "The Babysitter's Here" and when I looked over at Andrew....
HE WASN"T CRYING!
Because he.....IS NOT....a bastard:).
Other than this, my favorite part was when she strummed the first note of "When I Was A Boy" and I was taken back to being in that classroom once again, hearing her music and lyrics for the very first time. This woman was the whole reason I ever picked up a guitar in the first place.
And alas. Again. It was over much too soon.
I was grinning from ear to ear and bouncing up and down and I noticed a few people walking back stage. I looked at Andrew and we followed suit.
I wasn't sure what I was expecting but suddenly Dar Williams was standing right in front of our small group and asking us casually if we could walk around to the other side.
I was a zombie. I just followed and it was like watching everything around me in slow motion. The gate opened slowly and the security guard stepped out and said "Just don't crowd her." And this is when it hit me...
I was about to meet Dar Williams. My hero. My idol. My favorite-est "star" in the whole wide world.
I say this with complete elegance.....
"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek! Yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!!!!!!!!!"
Ahem.
I stood there shaking, trying to figure out exactly what I was going to say when Andrew, lovely fiance' that he is, stepped out and got her attention,
"Dar. I want you to meet your biggest fan Mary." (It's ok that Andrew called her by her first name because she and I were about to become best friends and start touring together anyway!)
I looked at her. She looked at me and she said "Nice to meet you Mary." And held out her hand.
I shook her hand and said......
"Bllehew hwhkksj dsahdksjaklkl;"......
Yeah....I couldn't tell you what that means either.
However she did seem to understand somehow that I wanted her autograph as I handed her a random piece of paper I had found in my purse in a nice, cave-man like manner.
I do remember spastic-ly asking her if I could have my picture taken with her and she said "Oh! Of course! Who's taking it?"
It took me a second to find Andrew because to be honest in the whole moment, I had forgotten anyone else was there....
But he was standing there waiting for the moment. I smiled my biggest smile and he took the picture.
I looked at Dar (remember...we're best friends now so I can call her that) and said "Thank you." And then....
I think I hugged her....
Yep. I'm pretty sure I did. (Sadly. I don't really remember....?) But yeah. I think I hugged her.
Did I mention how spastic I am?
When Andrew and I walked away (let's be honest...he walked, I skipped and jumped and acted like a 5 year old again screaming "I just met Dar Williams! I just met Dar Williams!".....can you say restraining order?....that poor girl...),But I knew I would never forget that moment.
Thank you Dar Williams for putting up with your fans...both normal and crazy. You truly are the best and we love you!!!!
Andrew and I awaiting the concert to begin.
Dar Williams eating!!!!! So exciting!!!
I love this shot! (Thanks Andrew for being the photographer during this ultra-cool event!)
The moment....
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Top 10 things that scare me...
10. Public Restrooms. This includes but is not limited to: Porta-potties and rest areas. I have been inside a porta-potty all of 2 times in my life and since the last time have vowed never to go into one again...It. Was. Disgusting. People are so gross...(And this is coming from a person who has to clean up dog shit at least twice a day). I'll leave it at that.
As for the rest areas...it's not so much the public part of the restroom that scares me. (Though I will admit...the majority of the female gender apparently doesn't know how to wipe the seat after they're done...)It's more the people that hang out there that scare me. I've never been to a rest area and not seen at least one bearded, creepy old man standing outside watching every person that goes in. This is where my "make no eye contact" rule comes in. (Hey. If I don't look directly at them., in my mind that = I'm safe:). The same applies for random people standing on the side of the road with "will work for food signs".... and clowns.
9. This brings me to my next worst fear...CLOWNS! Oh. My. God. Whose ever idea it was to dress some middle-aged man or woman in a clown suit and put crazy make-up on was insane. INSANE! Who finds that entertaining? And it doesn't matter if they are skating around on an ice rink with little kids singing "What a great time for a great taste at McDonald's". (That's a little tribute to the old McDonald's 80's commercials.) But seriously, adding ice skates onto a clown? That only makes it easier and faster for them to catch you!
And let me just say, the clown from Poltergeist that suddenly became possessed and attacked the little boy scared the absolute s*** out of me! I mean seriously, I thought I was going to kill over from having a heart attack at the mere adolescent age of 12. One word: C.R.E.E.P.Y.
8. Accidentally eating meat at a restaurant. You ask why is that? Wouldn't you know what to order since you're a vegetarian and all? One would think it was that simple. But truth be told, I have had a few experiences of which this has happened.
Once I went to one of my then favorite Italian restaurants and ordered spaghetti with marinara sauce. Knowing that sometimes, chefs will marinate their sauce in beef stock, I specifically asked if it was vegetarian. They told me yes. So I'm sitting there eating my meal and suddenly feel my face turn as white as the dress I was wearing. I asked my mom to inspect my spaghetti and have a taste. (If you have ever been to a restaurant with me, you have probably seen me do this more than once:). She tasted it and told me it was meat. I. Could. Have. Died. I got the waitresses attention and informed her that I was a vegetarian and this is what she said to me:
"Oh." Giggle Giggle. "You didn't know?"
I looked at her for a moment and replied calmly,
"I thought I did know because whoever I talked to when I called and asked told me it was vegetarian."
"Oh." Giggle Giggle. "Well sometimes the cooks will lie."
I could have choked her with my meat-laced spaghetti.
Another similar, yet not so dramatic occurrence, is the whole reason why I just eat cheese pizza from fast food places.This is because one time I ordered mushrooms and took a big bite and found that a piece of sausage was in my mouth. I screamed and spit it out...which brings us to #7.
7. Sausage. Or anything coming from a pig. What is it exactly? My family can attest to this fear when once we were at Briggs (Best. Breakfast. Ever.) and somehow my hair landed in the sausage on my dad's plate. Suddenly I was screaming "Ah! I've got sausage hair!!!" And the entire restaurant was looking at me like I was crazy.
6. Charles Manson. And yet, no matter how frightened I am of this man, I am truly fascinated by any book, t.v., special, article, ect. the news has to offer me. I have no explanation for this.
5. The random things that go bump in the night. I hear these noises all of the time and am convinced that it's something of the super natural persuasion. I also hold these beings (?) responsible for the socks that go missing in the laundry. And there is nothing more scary than the idea of a ghost wearing just one of your socks. Think about it people....think about it.
4.Vampires. I. Hate. It. When anything is choking my neck or touching my neck. Perhaps it is because my mom used to always dress me in turtle necks (all colors of the rainbow...gotta love the 80's). But I feel like anything touching my neck, whether it's a necklace or a sweater or whatever, secludes me from oxygen and I suddenly feel like I'm suffocating. Hence the reference to vampires...they choke you with their teeth. And the whole idea of that freaks me out...
3.Drowning. Perhaps this certain fear comes from the fact that my brother and his friends use to always find it funny to dunk me and hold me under the water a little too long...I will say however that they did not think it was oh so funny when I discovered how quick of a reaction I could get when I started kicking frantically and landed in areas I will not say. (Use your imagination.)
2.Cartman from South Park. Creepy ass cartoon cooked that kids' parents and fed them to him....That's just messed up. And that episode marked the end of my South Park phase.
1.My own ability to hurt myself (unwillingly mind you) via falling down the stairs, running into brick walls, getting hit by a parked car, tripping over invisible objects....the list goes on. And I have yet to kill myself by accident. This is truly a miracle.
As for the rest areas...it's not so much the public part of the restroom that scares me. (Though I will admit...the majority of the female gender apparently doesn't know how to wipe the seat after they're done...)It's more the people that hang out there that scare me. I've never been to a rest area and not seen at least one bearded, creepy old man standing outside watching every person that goes in. This is where my "make no eye contact" rule comes in. (Hey. If I don't look directly at them., in my mind that = I'm safe:). The same applies for random people standing on the side of the road with "will work for food signs".... and clowns.
9. This brings me to my next worst fear...CLOWNS! Oh. My. God. Whose ever idea it was to dress some middle-aged man or woman in a clown suit and put crazy make-up on was insane. INSANE! Who finds that entertaining? And it doesn't matter if they are skating around on an ice rink with little kids singing "What a great time for a great taste at McDonald's". (That's a little tribute to the old McDonald's 80's commercials.) But seriously, adding ice skates onto a clown? That only makes it easier and faster for them to catch you!
And let me just say, the clown from Poltergeist that suddenly became possessed and attacked the little boy scared the absolute s*** out of me! I mean seriously, I thought I was going to kill over from having a heart attack at the mere adolescent age of 12. One word: C.R.E.E.P.Y.
8. Accidentally eating meat at a restaurant. You ask why is that? Wouldn't you know what to order since you're a vegetarian and all? One would think it was that simple. But truth be told, I have had a few experiences of which this has happened.
Once I went to one of my then favorite Italian restaurants and ordered spaghetti with marinara sauce. Knowing that sometimes, chefs will marinate their sauce in beef stock, I specifically asked if it was vegetarian. They told me yes. So I'm sitting there eating my meal and suddenly feel my face turn as white as the dress I was wearing. I asked my mom to inspect my spaghetti and have a taste. (If you have ever been to a restaurant with me, you have probably seen me do this more than once:). She tasted it and told me it was meat. I. Could. Have. Died. I got the waitresses attention and informed her that I was a vegetarian and this is what she said to me:
"Oh." Giggle Giggle. "You didn't know?"
I looked at her for a moment and replied calmly,
"I thought I did know because whoever I talked to when I called and asked told me it was vegetarian."
"Oh." Giggle Giggle. "Well sometimes the cooks will lie."
I could have choked her with my meat-laced spaghetti.
Another similar, yet not so dramatic occurrence, is the whole reason why I just eat cheese pizza from fast food places.This is because one time I ordered mushrooms and took a big bite and found that a piece of sausage was in my mouth. I screamed and spit it out...which brings us to #7.
7. Sausage. Or anything coming from a pig. What is it exactly? My family can attest to this fear when once we were at Briggs (Best. Breakfast. Ever.) and somehow my hair landed in the sausage on my dad's plate. Suddenly I was screaming "Ah! I've got sausage hair!!!" And the entire restaurant was looking at me like I was crazy.
6. Charles Manson. And yet, no matter how frightened I am of this man, I am truly fascinated by any book, t.v., special, article, ect. the news has to offer me. I have no explanation for this.
5. The random things that go bump in the night. I hear these noises all of the time and am convinced that it's something of the super natural persuasion. I also hold these beings (?) responsible for the socks that go missing in the laundry. And there is nothing more scary than the idea of a ghost wearing just one of your socks. Think about it people....think about it.
4.Vampires. I. Hate. It. When anything is choking my neck or touching my neck. Perhaps it is because my mom used to always dress me in turtle necks (all colors of the rainbow...gotta love the 80's). But I feel like anything touching my neck, whether it's a necklace or a sweater or whatever, secludes me from oxygen and I suddenly feel like I'm suffocating. Hence the reference to vampires...they choke you with their teeth. And the whole idea of that freaks me out...
3.Drowning. Perhaps this certain fear comes from the fact that my brother and his friends use to always find it funny to dunk me and hold me under the water a little too long...I will say however that they did not think it was oh so funny when I discovered how quick of a reaction I could get when I started kicking frantically and landed in areas I will not say. (Use your imagination.)
2.Cartman from South Park. Creepy ass cartoon cooked that kids' parents and fed them to him....That's just messed up. And that episode marked the end of my South Park phase.
1.My own ability to hurt myself (unwillingly mind you) via falling down the stairs, running into brick walls, getting hit by a parked car, tripping over invisible objects....the list goes on. And I have yet to kill myself by accident. This is truly a miracle.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Here's the thing...
Caution: This might offend....
I woke up this morning thinking about several issues that have always been important to me. For example, I have always had a soft spot for all living things, whether it be people, animals, plants or insects. I don't believe that the killing of any of these beings is right. Yes, I know that through natural selection, animals kill one another for food, territory, etc but they do it as an order to survive...not out of cruelty to one another.
This simple statement holds true for not only the senseless killing of animals, but for killing our own kind as well. This being said, I don't feel that it is right to kill any human under any circumstance, including the use of the death penalty and in the acts of war. This does not in any way meant that I am against our soldiers who risk their lives for this country every day. I have a high respect for these individuals and their selflessness. I can't even begin to imagine what their everyday lives are like.
(Let me also note that I am not trying to offend all of you meat-eaters out there. Just stating how I feel. That's all:).
But there has to be a better way. I'm not saying I have the right answer or any other alternative at all. But no one ever got anywhere by making the same mistake over and over again. (I can attest to that on a personal level).
Now I know that many might convey these thoughts of mine to be complete "hippy garble". But here's the thing. Do any of us truly want another living soul to die?
Believe me. I have gone through that whole "phase" so-to-speak of dressing the part of a hippy, displaying tons of bumper stickers on my car, blasting Ani Difranco from my crackly car radio speakers while she's singing about how "America is not a true democracy". I was outraged when Bush was re-elected and couldn't understand how anyone could perceive him as a true leader. I was angry and trying to fight this inner battle of "why do bad things happen to good people", questioning God and asking the eternal why of everything. I've been there. Done that.
And it got me no where in the end but where I am today.
I still stick by my beliefs and morals as I always have. And I respect anyone who might disagree with me, however I expect the same kind of respect back. In my opinion, there is a very fine line between politics and religion and the personal value that each of these topics hold. It doesn't matter to me if you are republican, democrat or liberal. It makes no difference to me if you are Christian, Jew or Muslim. If you describe your faith as religious or spiritual. In my opinion, and that's exactly all this is; we are all EVERYTHING. We all "come together" as the Beatles once said and make the world what it is through, not only are differences, but our likenesses. Sometimes I think we focus too much on such ""differences...when in all reality, that's not what's important.
What's important is that we are alive and that we should treasure each day to the best of our abilities. We are all here for a reason, whatever that reason may be....even if at times it seems faulty. The purpose is there. Live it out.
And be at peace....
I woke up this morning thinking about several issues that have always been important to me. For example, I have always had a soft spot for all living things, whether it be people, animals, plants or insects. I don't believe that the killing of any of these beings is right. Yes, I know that through natural selection, animals kill one another for food, territory, etc but they do it as an order to survive...not out of cruelty to one another.
“Wild animals never kill for sport. Man is the only one to whom the torture and death of his fellow creatures is amusing in itself.”- James AnthonyFroude
This simple statement holds true for not only the senseless killing of animals, but for killing our own kind as well. This being said, I don't feel that it is right to kill any human under any circumstance, including the use of the death penalty and in the acts of war. This does not in any way meant that I am against our soldiers who risk their lives for this country every day. I have a high respect for these individuals and their selflessness. I can't even begin to imagine what their everyday lives are like.
(Let me also note that I am not trying to offend all of you meat-eaters out there. Just stating how I feel. That's all:).
But there has to be a better way. I'm not saying I have the right answer or any other alternative at all. But no one ever got anywhere by making the same mistake over and over again. (I can attest to that on a personal level).
Now I know that many might convey these thoughts of mine to be complete "hippy garble". But here's the thing. Do any of us truly want another living soul to die?
Believe me. I have gone through that whole "phase" so-to-speak of dressing the part of a hippy, displaying tons of bumper stickers on my car, blasting Ani Difranco from my crackly car radio speakers while she's singing about how "America is not a true democracy". I was outraged when Bush was re-elected and couldn't understand how anyone could perceive him as a true leader. I was angry and trying to fight this inner battle of "why do bad things happen to good people", questioning God and asking the eternal why of everything. I've been there. Done that.
And it got me no where in the end but where I am today.
I still stick by my beliefs and morals as I always have. And I respect anyone who might disagree with me, however I expect the same kind of respect back. In my opinion, there is a very fine line between politics and religion and the personal value that each of these topics hold. It doesn't matter to me if you are republican, democrat or liberal. It makes no difference to me if you are Christian, Jew or Muslim. If you describe your faith as religious or spiritual. In my opinion, and that's exactly all this is; we are all EVERYTHING. We all "come together" as the Beatles once said and make the world what it is through, not only are differences, but our likenesses. Sometimes I think we focus too much on such ""differences...when in all reality, that's not what's important.
What's important is that we are alive and that we should treasure each day to the best of our abilities. We are all here for a reason, whatever that reason may be....even if at times it seems faulty. The purpose is there. Live it out.
And be at peace....
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Top 10: Blonde Moments
Here is a list of my top 10 "blonde" moments. Please do not judge...whether you admit it or not, we ALL have them. These are my favorite thus far....
10. When I was a freshmen in High School, we were all assigned an English term that we had to teach to the class in an interesting way. My group got the word hyperbole.
As a brief refresher, a hyperbole, according to the ever-so trustworthy Wikipedia, is "a figure of speech in which statements are exaggerated."
I forget how exactly our group chose to teach this term to our fellow students. However, I do remember very well that the other 2 guys in my group were deadbeats and decided that I should do all the work for it.
Being the nice gal that I am, I went along with it on one condition. One of them would have to do most of the talking in front of the class. Public speaking, for me, has always been an absolute nightmare. I get a dry throat, which makes me feel as though I'm going to vomit any second. I start pacing back and forth in my mind and try to memorize exactly what I'm going to say over and over in my head. Then, once I get up in front of a group of people, whether it's only 2 or 20 or 200, I inevitably forget what I'm about to say and stutter all over my words making it completely impossible for anyone to understand what the hell I am talking about.
That being said, you can imagine my hesitation when I found out 5 minutes before our presentation, my dead beat group "partners" had changed their minds and decided that I was also going to present the whole project.
Oh God. I'm going to hurl....
So we get up there. I take a deep breath and I look at my loving classmates. I had known all of these people for years, some of them since kindergarten. It was no big deal right? Right. So...here it goes....
I open my mouth....
Silence.
I try again...
Nothing.
And then, I guess to help me along, my teacher asked us what our term was.
Yea! I know the answer to that one. So I blurted out...
"Hyper-bowl! Our term was hyper-bowl!"
And yes....that's exactly how I said it. I said it as though this fictitious bowl needed to be on ritalin....what the hell?
(For those of you who didn't catch it, the word phonetically is pronounced "hye-PER-bÉ™-lee".)
My teacher was so nice though. She just smiled and corrected me gently but not at the expense of all the other students who were giggling and laughing and pointing....
I know they thought I was an idiot. But somehow I made it through the rest of the presentation. This was only the beginning of a long slew of embarrassing moments when it came to public speaking.
9. Andrew and I play this game often where one of us will ask the other a trivia question. It's usually while we're taking one of our infamous road trips and we're just trying to keep things interesting. These trivia questions are usually movie, t.v. or music related but sometimes we'll stump each other with a history or sports question.
(OK. Let's be honest, we all know that I know absolutely nothing about most history and sports trivia...My smarts are usually in English and Literature....except of course if you want me to pronounce something correctly. See "blonde" moment #10).
So this being said, sometimes I get people confused with who they really are. So one day, Andrew and I are driving around and he asks me to name a player on the Lakers team. I stare at him blankly.
First of all, I'm not even sure if he's talking basketball or football. And he wants me to name a player? Ok...here it goes.
I look at him confidently and say the first name that pops into my head.
"Stonewall Jackson!"
Ha! So there! He didn't see that one coming now did he! I. Am. So. SMART!
And then I look at him and see that he is laughing. No, not laughing...more like cackling at me.
"What?" I say. "Do I have the wrong team?"
He can barely get the words out and every time he even tries to talk, he glances at me, sees the look on my face and then starts howling again.
I start to get a little annoyed.
"Well, are you going to tell me? What's so funny?"
He finally gets a hold of himself and says, "Stonewall Jackson? Really? Are you being serious?"
He looks at me again and sees that I am and therefore this throws him into another fit of laughter.
I stare ahead in front of me wanting to plummet myself out of the car into on-coming traffic.
And finally, he breaks it to me. Apparently...Stonewall Jackson was a general in some war...(who knew?). But in my defense, doesn't the name "Stonewall" sound like a basketball (or football?) player's name?....
Doesn't it?
8. I hate being wrong. (Who doesn't?) But I especially hate being wrong when I'm being so adamant that I'm right. For example, one day my family and I were sitting around talking about random things when the subject turned to Disney World. We were discussing how much we all were amazed that my old Pontiac Grand am "Betsy" made it to and from there so many times. So I made the comment "Yeah I know. She's been there and back 3 times! Crazy!"
My dad looks at me and says, "No. She's only been there and back 2 times."
I look at him knowingly. "No. remember? I drove her to Florida when I lived there. Then back again. (That's 2 times right?) Then when I went a couple of years ago. (3)
He stared at me. "But that only makes 2 times."
"No No No. It's 3."
I kept trying to explain to him the logic of how many times and I was starting to get frustrated...did this really matter anyway? I kept trying different angles to approach it and kept coming up with the same result. And he kept telling me that it was only 2 times, there and back.
So I tried the first route again. "I drove her to Florida when I lived there. Then back again. (That's 1 time) And then I drove her there and back a couple of years ago...that's 2 times and then....."
He looked at me.
Crap. I knew I was caught..."And then...."
Oops. Look at that. He was right all along...
7. Scary movies are not my forte'. (See previous blog from 3/5/09 if you don't believe me.) I am the type of person who has mapped out in my head where I would hide should someone try to come in my house and kill me. I've even tried fitting myself between the mattress and the box spring (the perfect hiding place right?). And I've timed it out exactly and done trial runs to make sure I am prepared for any possible sudden attacks.
When I was in high school, there were often times when I found myself being home alone. I did not like these times. Even in the daytime, I had a hard time occupying myself enough to not sit in quiet too long and imagine all of the non-existent noises I was hearing.
One day. These noises were not non-existent. They were real. Someone was trying to get in the house. Needless to say, I panicked.
So I thought to myself. Mary. You can do this. You have to protect yourself. I could hear whoever was trying to get in getting closer and closer to achieving their goal. So I decided then and there that I would be brave and defend myself. I grabbed the nearest thing to me to use as a weapon. Not a knife. Not a shovel. Not a piece of rope.....a hairbrush.
Yes. A hair brush.
You ask me, what was I thinking? (See title of this blog...)
So dangerous hairbrush in hand, I started creeping down the hall. Said attacker was getting closer, but I had my weapon and my plan in mind. (And yes, I was going to beat him senseless with my trusty hairbrush...and no one was going to stop me.)
I was getting closer and so was he. I heard voices. (There was more than one of them). They were coming in the door. I could hear it creaking and their footsteps were getting closer to me. I reached the end of the hall. I knew that as soon as they rounded the next corner, they would see me, "weapon" in hand and pull out their own defenses. I decided then and there to act fast. I wouldn't give them the chance to see me first. Here it goes.
I rounded the corner and charged!!!!!!!!!! Hairbrush held high and screaming like a banchie! But stopped short...
There standing in front of me was my brother and a couple of his friends. They looked at me. I looked at them. Then they saw the hairbrush. They looked at me again....
I tried to play it cool (so what if I had forgotten they were coming over that day? So what if my brother was holding his house key in his hand and I hadn't reasonably deducted the fact that his putting the key in the door was the scary noise I was hearing...)
They continued to stare at me. I had nothing.....
So I walked away.
But trespassers beware. You won't be so lucky....
6. One of my most favorite t.v shows is "Alias". Any show where the woman is always the one that kicks ass is something I am highly entertained by. But that's beside the point.
One day, not too long ago, my brother Pat and sister-in-law Jenn and I were sitting at the kitchen table. We were talking about the show and Jenn mentioned how she missed Sidney (Jennifer Garner's character) dressing up so much like she had in the first couple of seasons. Then she made the comment: "I mean the show is called "Alias", you would think they would keep that up right?"
I looked at Jenn and it clicked. "Oh!" I said. "That's why the show is called "Alias". I always wondered that."
Pat and Jenn stared at me like a cow does at an oncoming train.
I stared back innocently..."What?"
5. Growing up, Pat and I loved watching old Dr. Who episodes. It was my Dad's fault actually. He was the one who introduced us to the British show and we were hooked from the beginning. Often times, we would sneak into his room while he was sleeping and snag one of his tapes of episodes from his closet and watch it all day long. We even made up a Dr. Who game where we would build forts and go on "missions" and such. Good times. Good times.
We were talking about the show one day, many, many years later and Dad said something about the robotic dog in the show named K-9. I didn't hear all of what he was saying because when he mentioned the dogs name, I had an epiphany. Suddenly I blurted out:
"Hey! That's cool. The dog's name was K-9...you know, like canine. Like the species...!"
Yea me! I'm so. Smart.
Pat looked at me and my dad started laughing. "Really?" They said in unison.
I looked at them back. "What?"
4. Oops! I forgot to put a # 4! So me forgetting to count will serve as my #4 blonde moment!
3. The infamous chicken bone- (See blog from 4/2/09)
2. Pat and I loved to ride our bikes when we were little. It was one of our favorite things to do. (What kid doesn't like riding a bike?)
One afternoon, we were doing our normal obstacle course of riding up and down the driveway and all the way around the house. We would do this multiple times throughout the day and try to make it more interesting along the way.
So I get this brilliant idea that when Pat was going around the house one way, I would go the opposite way and we would pass each other and go from there. However, I forgot one minor detail. I somehow neglected to tell him that I was going to do this, so he was never pre-warned that I was coming.
So there we were, I was going one direction while he was going the other...both at full speed and it looked as though we were going to meet in the middle....literally.
Suddenly I realized that he wasn't slowing down and he was headed right towards me....we were going to crash.
So what did I do you ask? Well naturally...I panicked.
I swerved to my right to get out of the way, failing to remember that the only thing directly to my right was a huge hill that ended up at the bottom of our property. Not so bad, right?
Right.
So one would think I would hold onto the bike with all my might, hoping that I was still on it by the time I reached the bottom of the hill and was able to break. Right?
Wrong.
Instead, I decided to go all evil canevil and I jumped off of my bike, thinking I would land softly on the ground.
Unfortunately, this was not the case. Instead of landing on the ground, I landed right smack dab, face-first....into a tree....
Yes.
A tree.
I. Am. Brilliant.
1.So I had been at my current job for about 3 months when I had to resort to calling them one morning to let them know I was going to be a bit late. When asking me why, I reluctantly answered that I was lost....
Yes. Lost.
On the way to work.
At a job I had been working at for 3 months.
Lost.....
But let me explain. I had gotten up extra early to go by the post office and took a different route. I thought I knew where I was going and ended up in a while different county....
It was sad.
Very sad indeed.
10. When I was a freshmen in High School, we were all assigned an English term that we had to teach to the class in an interesting way. My group got the word hyperbole.
As a brief refresher, a hyperbole, according to the ever-so trustworthy Wikipedia, is "a figure of speech in which statements are exaggerated."
I forget how exactly our group chose to teach this term to our fellow students. However, I do remember very well that the other 2 guys in my group were deadbeats and decided that I should do all the work for it.
Being the nice gal that I am, I went along with it on one condition. One of them would have to do most of the talking in front of the class. Public speaking, for me, has always been an absolute nightmare. I get a dry throat, which makes me feel as though I'm going to vomit any second. I start pacing back and forth in my mind and try to memorize exactly what I'm going to say over and over in my head. Then, once I get up in front of a group of people, whether it's only 2 or 20 or 200, I inevitably forget what I'm about to say and stutter all over my words making it completely impossible for anyone to understand what the hell I am talking about.
That being said, you can imagine my hesitation when I found out 5 minutes before our presentation, my dead beat group "partners" had changed their minds and decided that I was also going to present the whole project.
Oh God. I'm going to hurl....
So we get up there. I take a deep breath and I look at my loving classmates. I had known all of these people for years, some of them since kindergarten. It was no big deal right? Right. So...here it goes....
I open my mouth....
Silence.
I try again...
Nothing.
And then, I guess to help me along, my teacher asked us what our term was.
Yea! I know the answer to that one. So I blurted out...
"Hyper-bowl! Our term was hyper-bowl!"
And yes....that's exactly how I said it. I said it as though this fictitious bowl needed to be on ritalin....what the hell?
(For those of you who didn't catch it, the word phonetically is pronounced "hye-PER-bÉ™-lee".)
My teacher was so nice though. She just smiled and corrected me gently but not at the expense of all the other students who were giggling and laughing and pointing....
I know they thought I was an idiot. But somehow I made it through the rest of the presentation. This was only the beginning of a long slew of embarrassing moments when it came to public speaking.
9. Andrew and I play this game often where one of us will ask the other a trivia question. It's usually while we're taking one of our infamous road trips and we're just trying to keep things interesting. These trivia questions are usually movie, t.v. or music related but sometimes we'll stump each other with a history or sports question.
(OK. Let's be honest, we all know that I know absolutely nothing about most history and sports trivia...My smarts are usually in English and Literature....except of course if you want me to pronounce something correctly. See "blonde" moment #10).
So this being said, sometimes I get people confused with who they really are. So one day, Andrew and I are driving around and he asks me to name a player on the Lakers team. I stare at him blankly.
First of all, I'm not even sure if he's talking basketball or football. And he wants me to name a player? Ok...here it goes.
I look at him confidently and say the first name that pops into my head.
"Stonewall Jackson!"
Ha! So there! He didn't see that one coming now did he! I. Am. So. SMART!
And then I look at him and see that he is laughing. No, not laughing...more like cackling at me.
"What?" I say. "Do I have the wrong team?"
He can barely get the words out and every time he even tries to talk, he glances at me, sees the look on my face and then starts howling again.
I start to get a little annoyed.
"Well, are you going to tell me? What's so funny?"
He finally gets a hold of himself and says, "Stonewall Jackson? Really? Are you being serious?"
He looks at me again and sees that I am and therefore this throws him into another fit of laughter.
I stare ahead in front of me wanting to plummet myself out of the car into on-coming traffic.
And finally, he breaks it to me. Apparently...Stonewall Jackson was a general in some war...(who knew?). But in my defense, doesn't the name "Stonewall" sound like a basketball (or football?) player's name?....
Doesn't it?
8. I hate being wrong. (Who doesn't?) But I especially hate being wrong when I'm being so adamant that I'm right. For example, one day my family and I were sitting around talking about random things when the subject turned to Disney World. We were discussing how much we all were amazed that my old Pontiac Grand am "Betsy" made it to and from there so many times. So I made the comment "Yeah I know. She's been there and back 3 times! Crazy!"
My dad looks at me and says, "No. She's only been there and back 2 times."
I look at him knowingly. "No. remember? I drove her to Florida when I lived there. Then back again. (That's 2 times right?) Then when I went a couple of years ago. (3)
He stared at me. "But that only makes 2 times."
"No No No. It's 3."
I kept trying to explain to him the logic of how many times and I was starting to get frustrated...did this really matter anyway? I kept trying different angles to approach it and kept coming up with the same result. And he kept telling me that it was only 2 times, there and back.
So I tried the first route again. "I drove her to Florida when I lived there. Then back again. (That's 1 time) And then I drove her there and back a couple of years ago...that's 2 times and then....."
He looked at me.
Crap. I knew I was caught..."And then...."
Oops. Look at that. He was right all along...
7. Scary movies are not my forte'. (See previous blog from 3/5/09 if you don't believe me.) I am the type of person who has mapped out in my head where I would hide should someone try to come in my house and kill me. I've even tried fitting myself between the mattress and the box spring (the perfect hiding place right?). And I've timed it out exactly and done trial runs to make sure I am prepared for any possible sudden attacks.
When I was in high school, there were often times when I found myself being home alone. I did not like these times. Even in the daytime, I had a hard time occupying myself enough to not sit in quiet too long and imagine all of the non-existent noises I was hearing.
One day. These noises were not non-existent. They were real. Someone was trying to get in the house. Needless to say, I panicked.
So I thought to myself. Mary. You can do this. You have to protect yourself. I could hear whoever was trying to get in getting closer and closer to achieving their goal. So I decided then and there that I would be brave and defend myself. I grabbed the nearest thing to me to use as a weapon. Not a knife. Not a shovel. Not a piece of rope.....a hairbrush.
Yes. A hair brush.
You ask me, what was I thinking? (See title of this blog...)
So dangerous hairbrush in hand, I started creeping down the hall. Said attacker was getting closer, but I had my weapon and my plan in mind. (And yes, I was going to beat him senseless with my trusty hairbrush...and no one was going to stop me.)
I was getting closer and so was he. I heard voices. (There was more than one of them). They were coming in the door. I could hear it creaking and their footsteps were getting closer to me. I reached the end of the hall. I knew that as soon as they rounded the next corner, they would see me, "weapon" in hand and pull out their own defenses. I decided then and there to act fast. I wouldn't give them the chance to see me first. Here it goes.
I rounded the corner and charged!!!!!!!!!! Hairbrush held high and screaming like a banchie! But stopped short...
There standing in front of me was my brother and a couple of his friends. They looked at me. I looked at them. Then they saw the hairbrush. They looked at me again....
I tried to play it cool (so what if I had forgotten they were coming over that day? So what if my brother was holding his house key in his hand and I hadn't reasonably deducted the fact that his putting the key in the door was the scary noise I was hearing...)
They continued to stare at me. I had nothing.....
So I walked away.
But trespassers beware. You won't be so lucky....
6. One of my most favorite t.v shows is "Alias". Any show where the woman is always the one that kicks ass is something I am highly entertained by. But that's beside the point.
One day, not too long ago, my brother Pat and sister-in-law Jenn and I were sitting at the kitchen table. We were talking about the show and Jenn mentioned how she missed Sidney (Jennifer Garner's character) dressing up so much like she had in the first couple of seasons. Then she made the comment: "I mean the show is called "Alias", you would think they would keep that up right?"
I looked at Jenn and it clicked. "Oh!" I said. "That's why the show is called "Alias". I always wondered that."
Pat and Jenn stared at me like a cow does at an oncoming train.
I stared back innocently..."What?"
5. Growing up, Pat and I loved watching old Dr. Who episodes. It was my Dad's fault actually. He was the one who introduced us to the British show and we were hooked from the beginning. Often times, we would sneak into his room while he was sleeping and snag one of his tapes of episodes from his closet and watch it all day long. We even made up a Dr. Who game where we would build forts and go on "missions" and such. Good times. Good times.
We were talking about the show one day, many, many years later and Dad said something about the robotic dog in the show named K-9. I didn't hear all of what he was saying because when he mentioned the dogs name, I had an epiphany. Suddenly I blurted out:
"Hey! That's cool. The dog's name was K-9...you know, like canine. Like the species...!"
Yea me! I'm so. Smart.
Pat looked at me and my dad started laughing. "Really?" They said in unison.
I looked at them back. "What?"
4. Oops! I forgot to put a # 4! So me forgetting to count will serve as my #4 blonde moment!
3. The infamous chicken bone- (See blog from 4/2/09)
2. Pat and I loved to ride our bikes when we were little. It was one of our favorite things to do. (What kid doesn't like riding a bike?)
One afternoon, we were doing our normal obstacle course of riding up and down the driveway and all the way around the house. We would do this multiple times throughout the day and try to make it more interesting along the way.
So I get this brilliant idea that when Pat was going around the house one way, I would go the opposite way and we would pass each other and go from there. However, I forgot one minor detail. I somehow neglected to tell him that I was going to do this, so he was never pre-warned that I was coming.
So there we were, I was going one direction while he was going the other...both at full speed and it looked as though we were going to meet in the middle....literally.
Suddenly I realized that he wasn't slowing down and he was headed right towards me....we were going to crash.
So what did I do you ask? Well naturally...I panicked.
I swerved to my right to get out of the way, failing to remember that the only thing directly to my right was a huge hill that ended up at the bottom of our property. Not so bad, right?
Right.
So one would think I would hold onto the bike with all my might, hoping that I was still on it by the time I reached the bottom of the hill and was able to break. Right?
Wrong.
Instead, I decided to go all evil canevil and I jumped off of my bike, thinking I would land softly on the ground.
Unfortunately, this was not the case. Instead of landing on the ground, I landed right smack dab, face-first....into a tree....
Yes.
A tree.
I. Am. Brilliant.
1.So I had been at my current job for about 3 months when I had to resort to calling them one morning to let them know I was going to be a bit late. When asking me why, I reluctantly answered that I was lost....
Yes. Lost.
On the way to work.
At a job I had been working at for 3 months.
Lost.....
But let me explain. I had gotten up extra early to go by the post office and took a different route. I thought I knew where I was going and ended up in a while different county....
It was sad.
Very sad indeed.
Top 10's!
I am going to randomly start posting lists of top 10's! It's going to be a mixture of things, from moments to movies to music to whatever. Hope you all enjoy! Leave comments and feedback along the way if you would like! Or if you have any ideas of your own, I would love to hear them! (Read them?:)
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