Being Mary

Andrew and I have "discovered" a new show on the Soap network called Being Erica. It takes place in Toronto, Canada and it's about a girl who undergoes a different type of therapy in which time travel is involved. I know. Sounds a little silly at first but think about it. Wouldn't you go back if you could? Not so much to change anything but to try to learn from it in hopes that you can move on or even change something about yourself.

Andrew asked me the other day, "What would you go back and tell your 20 year old self if you could give her advice?"

I jokingly replied, "Stay away from ass holes and bald guys." (Unfortunately both of these traits may or may not apply to the same person....)

But the truth is, I wouldn't have listened anyway. (I didn't listen to the little voices in my head that only got louder and louder the more I ignored them. It wasn't until they were screaming at me that I realized I needed to make a change.)

So anyway, the show begins with Erica having to make a list of her top 25 regrets. Then Dr. Tom sends her back in time to relive them in hopes of helping her let go.

I've always gone about life in a way that claims, I have no regrets. At least that's what I tell myself and other people when asked. The truth is, that's bull shit. OF COURSE I have regrets! I'm not going to sit here and bore you with a typed out list of my top 25, but I am going to ask you, what would you do/change if you could go back? Would you do/change anything?

What if time travel therapy were possible?

It's funny how we perceive things. Many of us go about life constantly asking ourselves, "what if?" What if I had stayed with that person? What if I had had that child? What if I had called my grandmother more? And so on and so on. We rarely get a second chance. And quite possibly, if we could go back, events might not seem quite the same as how we originally remembered or perceived  them. A person might not appear quite so wonderful and we might be reminded of why we chose the path we did in the first place. But why are we so quick to forget when things start to get tricky again?

It's a constant battle. Life. We grow so much, sometimes without even realizing it. And sometimes we regress, again, without even realizing. This is when we need to get back to the core of things. Go back to the basics. Remember who we are and who we are continuing to strive to be. It's OK to get a little lost. And I think it's normal to sometimes want to go back and re-do an event in our lives. Obviously not through time travel (though that would be pretty damn nifty.) But how can we be happy with our present, if we can't let go of our past?

We all have our regrets and perhaps things we wish could change about ourselves or our lives. The main thing to keep in mind is that no matter what, we have to be true to ourselves. So that's what I'm going to strive to do on a day to day basis.

Because I am Mary, and "being Mary" is who I want to be.