Billy Joel

I discovered the other day while at work that Billy Joel songs make me think of ex boyfriends.
Strange? Yes. And it's funny that I haven't made the connection until now. (Perhaps it's because our only source of music is the radio and the mindless songs that they play over and over and over again. Billy Joel may be a constant repeat, but I'll take him over Katy Perry any day.)
It's not that I don't like Billy Joel. He's no Jon Bon Jovi....but really, who is?
It's just that somehow, over the years, his songs make me think of certain people who have come and gone in my life that I really wish I could manage to never think of again.


For example, every time I hear the song Piano Man, I think of the boyfriend I had my senior year of high school.
Donald.
Now he was a rare and "special" breed of guy. He played the piano. In fact, he took lessons from his grandmother and I would often go with him to watch him practice. The annual concert was coming up and it was time for him to choose a piece to play. He chose Piano Man, at my request, because he knew I liked the song.
Now before you go on thinking that it was a sweet gesture, in the long run, it never really mattered. Plus, he had never even heard the song before he had met me, so he knew nothing about the lyrics or what it was about. (Of course this was coming from the same guy who liked Metallica's version of Turn the Page better than Bob Segar's.....Here's your sign.)
Anyway, I'm not going to get into the horrendous details of our relationship. It's over. It's done. And quite frankly, not worth repeating. I broke up with him before his big concert though and I remember him coming up to me telling me that I didn't deserve to watch his performance. I didn't really care but later found the video tape in my locker.
I watched it later that night.
Let's put it this way, it was not "sad and sweet" and he did not "know it complete".
The song has never been the same for me since.

The Longest Time used to be one of my favorite songs. And it was kinda sweet when a different ex boyfriend,  Austin, left me a voicemail singing the ENTIRE song.
However, it wasn't so sweet when he later accused me of being a slut and went on a rampage about how I was a bad influence and how he knew that God was disappointed in him for being involved with me.
Perhaps "God's" voice was the one he was actually "hearing in the hall".
Sadly, the song kinda makes me cringe now. All I can hear in it is the echo of Austin's voice and the way the words he later spoke cut me to the core. 
Damn you Billy Joel. Damn you!
   
My Life is such a true "screw you" classic. But unfortunately, it only reminds me of a time when I applied it to the people in my life that truly mattered. I was so lost and alone and the guy I was so lost and alone with at the time doesn't even deserve to have his name mentioned.
Now, when I hear this song, it only reminds me of how stupid I was for falling for the lies and it no longer remains on my playlist of loud, angry "f*** you" rock anthems.
The rolls  switched from my family to the very person I thought would "save me" from whatever it was I was running from.
It's sad really.
And such a waste.
"Go ahead with your own life. Leave me alone", could not be more appropriately applied than here.

OK. So I don't hate Billy Joel. It's not his fault that I had a bad run of idiots for boyfriends. (Come to think of it, there were only a few decent ones strewn in with the idiots....)
I still love Uptown Girl and We Didn't Start the Fire. And it's not only his music that brings back the memories of "love" gone awry. (Don't even get me started on The Rascall Flatts, Guns and Roses or Jimmy Buffett....another blog for another time perhaps.)
It just goes to show how truly important music is in our lives. There are still some songs I can't really listen to because it's just too painful to remember. But there are also songs, much like the Billy Joel ones, that remind me in a good way how far I've truly come in life and love....and how very blessed and happy I am now.
So now, when I hear these songs on the radio day in and day out, I kinda smile to myself. It was all a lifetime ago. But....
It's still rock and roll to me.